The Voice

Splaaaaash!

I tried to wash my eyes so that I could wake up. I looked at the watch with my eyes half open half closed, still wanting to shut down and go to bed. 

The watch said half past two in the morning. 

I knew it was an odd time but "I have to do this!" I told myself. "Time is never an issue for a writer! And in fact the night is the best time to write, with so much silence!"

Suddenly....

"Oh for GOD sake switch off the light and go back to sleep you fool!!" someone screamed from somewhere. I looked around to find who it was.

"Hello Mr.! Where are you looking? I am speaking from inside you." The voice replied again.

"Inside me?? What the crap are you talking? Are you some kind of ghost or something?" I was terrified. 

"Aaah! You idiot haven't you seen those Indian movies where in the inner conscience reflects in the mirror and talks with the hero! Arey yaar I am your 'Antar-Atma'."

"What the crap are you talking! Why don't you show yourself!" I screamed with fear.

"Well sorry dude! We Antar-Atmas have not yet evolved so much that we can show up ourselves." The voice replied calmly.

I didn't know what to do at all. Fear, confusion, bewilderment, every strange emotion seems to haunt me. 

"How can I trust. I need proof!" I rambled something out of my mouth finally.

"Proof?? Well it's like asking yourself who are you! Well I won't mind your stupidity, go on." 

"Tell me my name..and.. my date of birth!" 

"Mythreya... a.k.a matty, maddy... born on 23rd feb 87 at Kurnool, a small city in Andhra Pradesh. Want more proof? Ask me!"

"My favourite color?"

"black and white. And you like these colours because your ex-girl friend Pooja loved them. And don't be stunned. I also know everything about Pooja. I know that you still love her somewhere deep in your heart, though you pretend as if you have forgotten her and moved on. So what more do you want to know? The first time you met her? The first time you held her hand? First kiss? About your first....."

"Enough! Shut up now! Why the hell are you out of my body suddenly! Let me work. I am a writer!" 

"Aaaaaaaah! Don't tell me this crap! Writer! Who the hell told you so?" 

"What..."

"Writer! Nice way to cover up your joblessness. The thing is your are worthless."

"Now if you don't shut up...."

"What can you do to me? Can you punch yourself? Can you kick yourself? Ha ha ha. Atleast someone is having fun!"

"I don't want to talk to you. Let me do my work. I am begging you, Please!"

"Aah! I hate it when you cry like a sissy. Well show me what are you writing."

"Huh?? I cannot show you anything now...."

"Then tell me your story........ I will tell you how is it."

"Ok.. wait..... well.. I was thinking to write a horror story."

"A horror story! Humm... go on... tell me what it is..."

"The story beings in a gloomy night... the door opens slowly....'keeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkk'... the monstrous witch enters... her long poisonous teeth... her sharp nails.... her hair all messed up.... she is very very scary.... and aaaaaah.. yes... who is her victim...  a poor thin man. Yes this is it. This is it!!"

"Whaaaaaat! This does not sound like a horror story to me. This is every married man's story!"

"Oooh is it! I never thought of it that way.. humm... poor chaps! Well... how about romantic stories! Yes romance it is...."

"Humm.. well .. let us see.."

"Romance.. love.... humm.. love happens in college right! College stairs.... before the library.... a beautiful girl is walking with books in her hands... and opposite to her.. a handsome young boy.. is walking straight down towards her.... she is walking.... he is coming .... she is walking.. he is coming... and then suddenly......'DASSSHHH' they hit each other... the books fall down.... the girl bends down to pick up them... the boy helps her.... both of them see each other... eyes meet eyes... breathe meets breathe... and love takes birth... yes.. this is it....THIS IS IT!!!!"

"Hello oo Mr we are not living in the eighties... this is the twenty first century.... love does not happen like this.... today everything is online....online love.. online marriages.... and ...sometimes... even. online... ...honeymoon....."

"Honeymoon!!"

"yeah  yeah.. saw it in some site..."

"Oh! Humm... how about an action thriller?"

"Just shut up haan! You lack everything. Have you read the book "how to write fiction" by Dick Harry? Or his "1001 fiction plots"?"

"Dick harry? Who is he? Is he a famous writer? Has he written any famous stories?"

"Oh no! He is not into fiction. He just helps people write fiction!"

"Oh!"

"Well you see there should be planning, you should have a format on how to write a story.... make a plan... choose the plot.... choose the characters... mix some emotions.... add some masala to the climax... and we have a perfect story!" 

"ooh... doesn't it look like cooking a dish!"

"Well story writing is in fact cooking..... that's why they say...'cooking up a story!'"

"Humm..."

"What the hell are you talking to yourself at five in the morning! Didn't you sleep?" My mom suddenly came from the behind.

"Woooh! Mom.. you scared me! I was cooking....err...writing a story!"

"oh! So you got a story? No.... i figured out I don't have the right ingredients!"

"Huh? Humm.. this boy is really crazy!"

................................................................................

p.s: people say when you are confused listen to your inner-conscience. I did it and I got this!

 

Coffee Blues...

I hate coffee..
I know .. all of you are looking at me weirdly.. thinking.. who is this 'idiot'..
and..
guess what..
Now I got another reason to hate it more!!!

....

Love is in the air...

Rahul... Fell in Love Finally!!!!
I mean.. common.. even Rahul???
God....

I mean.. they say..
there are 960 girls for every 1000 boys...
Guess...Now.. I am going to be one of those... 40 unlucky souls.....
Fine.. I am happy for rahul atleast...

But....
.....



"Dude.. urgent help yaar... please dont mind.. I need some money yaar.. i will return it to you soon!!" Rahul pleaded...
"Fine.. but why do you need them???" I asked...
"Aaa.. welll.. the thing is.. aa.. the thing is...."
"Idiot.. tell me.. "
"I got a date with Reha.." he finally uttered...
"nice my dear friend.. very nice!! Stupid.. when you don't have the money ask her to cancel the date.. or ask her to pay!! She is also gonna eat na!!"
"Dude... forget it.. you wont understand.. when you have a girlfriend you will understand!!!"

Huh...
Finally.. the realization of the eternal truth!!

"By the way yaar.. forgot to mention... Reha is bringing her friend along....so maybe I thought....."Rahul said..
"What??? what did you think now???" I was skeptic.
"Why don't you come along yaar.. It will be fun.."
"Forget it!!! What the hell will I do there yaar!!"
"Arey.. just come.. it will be fun... and Reha's friend will be there yaar..!!"
"No no yaar.. I am in no mood... and you know I hate coffee!!!"


The next day I found myself... waiting seriously like an expecting father... but not my baby....
for the ladies ....
"Dude... I guess they are not gonna come.. lets leave.. " I said finally..
"Shut up yaar.. I just called them.. they have left from their home already..." Rahul screamed at me..
"oooh great!! Well.. at least order something.. or the coffeeshop guy is gonna throw us out.. the waiter has already started looking skeptically at me.." I tried to convince him.
"Sorry dude.... lack of financial resources!!" Rahul justified.
"Remember.. optimum use of minimum resources!!" He added
"Shut up! you ass!!" I scolded him.

Finally the almighty showed mercy and after forty minutes of hell.. the ladies arrived..
But ya..
I was forced to show such emotions as if .. when they walked in.. I turned back to life.. and as if I am so excited to see her and her "Friend"!!
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" Reha jumped ...
"Hi this is.. Aeysha!" We had a formal introduction...
"Aeysha Takiya???" I tried a PJ
"No! Aeysha Sharma!" she told me irritatedly...
I tried to check the Aeysha chick.. for a while.. but then...
Reha gave me the.. *Will you stop your X-RAY scan* look!
I tried to explain (through my looks) that I am an engineer and not a doctor!
Nevermind!!

But Ayesha... She was beautiful.. the only problem with her was..
She had her hair pulled back.. and even her reading glasses on..
It was like.. "Fuck Off boys! I am not in the mood!!"
So.. rather a tough call for me...

Suddenly... after a while...
Rahul and Reha moved to the table beside...
And I was left with Ayesha alone...

"So what was your name.. sorry I forgot!" She said..
I really hate it.. when people forget my name...
"Mythreya! . well you can call me Matty!!" I said..
She looked at me strangly... and then..
"Mythreya.. is such a nice name.. why do you hate it??"
"I don't hate my name!!! It's just that people find it difficult ot pronounce it.. so I help them out..." I snapped back
"So what do you do.. I mean hobbies!" She asked..
"Well hell lot of them.. Writing is my passion... I even own a blog!!"
well let me tell you.. i thought.. that would impress her...
But...
No emotions.. like.. nothing...
Finally.. she spoke..
"Blogging??? What does it mean???"
Now that was a disaster... I didnt even thought of explaining it to her!!

Now we finally decided to fulfill the purpose of our date or meet or whatever you call this thing!
We odered the drinks!

Trust me..
I am not much used to this coffeshops..
I just know one or two flavours of them..
And I thought why not I try something different...
And there it was..
I dont remember... what it was.. some... Tropical Tea.. or whatever... It seemed good in the photo.. colourful...
And then finally when it arrived..
I had it all..
I realized this guy charged me 100 bucks for making me drink some coloured water!!!!
Yaaaaaaaaaaak!!
It sucked to hell!!!
But.. I had to pretend as if it was the best thing I ever drank...
Gentleman Manners!!

Well...I thought... maybe.. I should .. try something and not waste my time..
I mean.. Rahul really inspired me..
and that Ayesha was.. not bad also...

"So Ayesha.. nice name... infact... you are also beautiful!" I tried to flirt around.
"Nice Dress!" I added
She didnt speak a word... I doubted was she deaf or was I dumb??
And she after a loong minute.. reluctanly said a.."Thank you!"
No, actually she didnt say it me.. she threw it on my face!
But.. hope didn't die out in me..
"Are you single? Boyfriend??" I hit it directly now!!
"I have no boyfriend.. and I am not even that kind!! I am just a simple girl!" She put it to me!
"Not even that kind???So what kind are you??"
"Its not like that... just that.. I didn't meet someone so nice to fall in love with.."
"Really! Well you should look around... there are nice people around you!"

I looked straight inot her eyes...and then finally asked her..
"Do you believe in love at first sight!"
"No... Not today atleast!!"
"What... "
"Nothing.. No I don't believe...."

And this way.. I tried to flirt around.. woo the lady..
And finally.. I even asked her number...
But the good thing is.. she somehow gave me hers!!

And finally..the end came..
Rahul rose from his chair and..
"Guys.. me and Reha want to spend sometime together.. if its late for you guys then you can leave!"
Ya he politely told us to get lost...
"Ayesha! Why not I drop you at your place?" I tried to be polite with her.
"No yaar! It's Ok.. Well My Brother is waiting for me nearby.. I will have ot join him.."
"Oooh.. ok.... bye then.. nice meeting you..."




Two days passed..
I thought of Ayesha for some four to five times...
And finally picked up the number.. and called...

"Hullo! Is this Ayesha? I am Mythreya.. Matty!!"
"Ayesha!!! There is No Ayesha here! Wrong Number!!" A angry old man scremed right inot my face!

The Longest Night Of My Life

I still remember the night of thirteenth December 2006. The unforgettable Friday the thirteenth.
It rained heavily. Maybe a cyclone.
The News reader warned people to stay indoors. For the time being he was my only company as my parents were out of station. No food in the house. I couldn't even get something from outside.
"what am I gonna do?" I screamed to myself.
"One day without food you wont die matty. Remember fasting is good for health." My alter ego replied.

I sighed in dismay. The loneliness was killing me.
I took a deep breath and said to myself, "what worse can it happen!"

"SHITTTTTTT!!!!!
A power cut at this hour! Aaaarrrrggghhh!!!"

It was pitch dark.
My mom had warned me to get some candles from the shop.
'Oh mom, I wish you were with me!'

My body shivered. Partly due to the storm and partly because of a strange fear.
Maybe the darkness; maybe the loneliness.

CRRRRRRAAAAAAASSSSSSHHhhhh
Suddenly there was a breaking noise. I was taken by shock.
'it's the wind; don't worry' I said to myself and tried to calmed down.

The storm beat the windows. I had to shut it down or the floor would be wet with water.
I went near the window. . . .

something stopped my steps. . .

it was a shadow of a man, a humanly figure. . . .

But what on earth was he doing in my backyard at this hour!!!!

"Must be a thief!" I concluded.
I thought of screaming. . . but maybe he is armed and who will listen to me in this strom.
I grabbed the broom and silently I went near the backyard.

I tried to open the door slowly. . . . . .

THHHHUUUUUUUUDDDDDD
"Ooooh God!!!!" I screamed as I slipped and fell on the wet floor.

I must have alerted him. he must have escaped.

NO He didn't go. He was moving nearer.
Suddenly I looked down.

HE HAD NO HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELLLLLLL!!!!!!!

I was shivering. I was almost dead.
I had never encountered ghosts but . . . . why me!!!

I shut my eyes and prayed the almighty. My heart beat a thousand times a minute.
I was sooo afraid even to scream. I couldn't utter a word in fear.

BAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNGGGG!!!

The door fell open. . . . and i screamed "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"

And. . . . .

I saw my shirt hanged by the clothesline in the backyard.
I had forgotten to bring it inside when my mom left it to dry.

"FUCK!!!! it's my shirt!!!!!"
Fuck man fuck!

"Aaah. . . ." I almost died of heart attack.

I panted heavily. I breathed in relief.
Then I got up and shut the door.

luckily after hours of searching, I found a small torch. I decided to go to my bed room and shut myself under the blanket.

As I walked on, i saw somethign shining in the dark. I couldn't understand for a sec.
"aaaaahhh" I screamed.

meeeeeaaaw.

SHIT! It was just a cat. it must have come in doors through the open windows.

I jumped on to the bed and prayed for the sun to arrive.
It was the longest night of my life.

"Fuck man! Fuck!! You got scared of your shirt! Ha Ha" Rahul shrieked as I narrated him the whole episode.
"But dude. . . .I don't remember any cyclone in December 2006 and in fact it never rained at all that year due to drought. And I don't remember any Friday the thirteens in that December also?? Ok forget it. Tell me which flats do have backyards and how did you think someone could climb all the six floors in a stormy night to your so called backyard!!!"

"WHATTT!! Well Just shut up. If you don't wanna believe don't believe. I don't care!" I yelled at him.

"ok ok relax dude!! Just chill ok." Rahul replied cooly.
"well I have a story too. wanna hear?" He looked at me excitedly. It was still seven and I had plenty time to kill.
"Shoot!" I said.

'The other day, me and my friend were at the graveyard near my place, having our usual booze session.
Suddenly my friend had to rush quickly to his place and I was left alone with two tins of beer.
I couldn't carry them home neither could drink on the roads.
So I decided to finish of the drinks at the graveyard and get back to my place.

Suddenly my eyes fell on a grave.
it read:
Rose Fernandes
Born: 5th Jan 1985 Died: 27 Aug 2007

Oh fuck! It's your B'day Rose! Happy b'day dear Rose Fernandes.
Why did you die so young?

"beacuse I had cancer. Anyway thanks for wishing me rahul!"

"WHATTTTT!! Who r u?? WHo is the bloddy bastard who is playign such a trick!!" I screamed

"It's me. Rose. Don't fear I won;t harm you." A women in white sari replied back as she moved towards me.

I ran as fast I can and ran untill i reached my home and shut myself in my room.
I can never forget the night."

"WHAT!!!!! You Boozed in a Graveyard?? And you are telling me you saw a dead women talking to you when you got high? Well tell you what you are nothing more than a drunken brat. At least my story didn't involve ghosts!!!!! get real dude." I roared.

"you don't believe me! well come with me to the graveyard I will show her." rahul spoke back.

"Are you nuts? You a mad man. I won't come with you anywhere." Me

"Ha! Why Mr.Coward? Looks like you wet your pants just by hearing the name of the graveyard." Rahul bawled.

"Give me a break ok. Look I am not coward." Me again

"Then come with me" Rahul challenged.

"Fine. Lets go and meet your new dead friend. Maybe I will ask her out." I snapped back

we went to the graveyard. But as I entered my hands shivered. I don't believe i was doing such a crazy thing. We entered and then. . . .

"Well dude sorry! " rahul spoke as we entered the graveyard.

"sorry? why so?" Me a bit astonished

"You won! Actually I was just kidding. There is no rose. I wanted to test your courage." Rahul replied.

"Oh god you are such a. . . . I told you see. there are no such fucking things as ghosts!!" Me again.

Just then someone came from the behind and. . . .

"Are you looking for me?"
A young woman in white sari was standing behind us. . . . .

The baby Sitter

Are you afraid of the dark?
Do you have nightmares of some cannibal tribes running behind you, to make their dinner out of you?
Do the ghost of some girl in white sari, singing a some old song and holding a candle in her hand, haunt you?


Never Mind! these questions have nothing to do, just read on. . .

Another lazy weekend, well nowadays there is no much difference between a weekend and a weekday, they all are the same!
but our dear Mr.Fate doesn't seem to be happy with my easy life. . .

well thanks to matty's help center I have been receiving many calls for help!!

My mom's friend had to leave the town urgently and so she had to ask someone to take care of her kids and house till her husband returns from office!
and my mom out of her generosity. . .

Mom (to her friend): "why do you worry Gita, don't worry i will send my son to your place, he is anyway useless, all the day he does is eat sleep and get fat! he has not done anything since ages. Let me give him some work today! Now don't you worry and get going!"

well that was my mom!
and so i went. . .of course no one asked me if i could chose not to go. . .they just ordered!!
I was now officially the BABY SITTER!!

The kids, a 9 yr old boy and 4 yr old girl, well. . . they looked nice, very calm and well mannered.
I looked at them, and thought. . it might not be that bad after all, they are after all small cute and very good kids, what can possibly go wrong. . . .
you will later know that this was my biggest mistake!!

Their mother left soon.
I rested my ass on the couch and switched on the TV.
The little girl came near me and whispered "POGO".
then she grabbed the remote from me and switched on the channel, well as someone rightly said, girls know what they want!!

If you have any grudges against anyone just kidnap them and make them watch Pogo! believe me this was some 3rd degree torture. . .GOD!!
How the hell can you watch some colorful puppets and few stupid things i don't know what they were but well the girl kept on jumping from her feet crying. . "Teletubbies!!!!!"
After sometime i switched to the Discovery channel, it was showing some giraffes mating. The girl asked me "the boy asked me what were they doing?"
"lets watch Bob the builder" i said. Thank god the little girl didn't open her mouth. I preferred pogo for the rest of the day. . .

Oooh! well i thought atleast that makes her silent and the boy . . .
wait a min. . . i had forgotten about the boy. . .where the hell was he. . he was here a min ago. . .
In the Bedroom. . No, kitchen . . .no, reading room. . no, toilet. . . . No!! Balcony. . .No. . . . .
WTF!!!!
where has been lost??
I went out and screamed his name. . .no response. . .
god this boy. . . then i saw him in the basement. .
pheew!
"Don't you ever leave the house without telling me!!" I screamed at him. .

Finally getting back to the house, i thought maybe it was time for lunch!
I said" well lets see what we got"! wow we have the spinach curry and the radish sambhar, and oooo we have rasam also!!" I hated those dishes. . but the baby sitter rule book says always act as if you love the food and make the kids eat properly!
(btw. . .rasam and sambhar are south indian dishes, and for god sake dont ask me their recipes now)
The little girl,"ewwwww! I want potato curry" and the boy,"i want a pizza" they both said in unison.
"Huh! well do you want to be strong like me, then eat this!"
everything in vain. . .they wont eat. finally after bribing them with chocolates, they agreed and i also had to promise the pizza!

Just then. . .rahul called "Dude? where r u? Come fast we all are going to the party! And the good thing is Teja is paying the bill. . ."
me, " Err. . sorry dude. . .i have some work. . ."
"work what work, you lazy bum, get ur ass down here. . .wtf r u doing? you got no girl friends even? whats keeping you busy"rahul screamed!
"well i am scrutinizing the child prodigies. . ."
"What the hell. . . .you r baby sitting??? ooh my god!! lol...." rahul almost fell down laughing. i could sense it.
humm. . . .well it happens. . .sometimes you have to give up biryani and tandoori for sambhar and rasam!!

"Bhaiya can I order the pizza?"
oooh. . .i forgot. . .well not bad I got the pizza right?
"My chocolates??" the little girl shouted from behind. . .
got to admit these kids have a good memory. . .

I took the girl to the candy store and the boy sits in the house and calls the pizzahut. .
Girl,"i want dairymilk, no i want milkybar. . .no i want. . .no that. . ."
"I want all of them. . . ."she said her final verdict!
"what!! No way. You can only one. take one. Ok i will buy you dairy milk thats it."
"Nooooooooo i want all. . .i want all. . . .i want all. . . .mummy....i want mommy!!!!"
"Ok ok. . .fineee!!!!"

finally she stopped her crying. . . .man!!
we went back. .
then after exactly twenty eight mins the pizza boy arrives, oooh i wish he was late by two moire mins and i would have got the order free. . . .
"Sir here is your order. . .extra large chicken pizza, extra large paneer pizza, and a medium capsicum pizza along with ginger bread and french fries and of course coke!!!!" the pizza boy said.
"what!! I think you have mistaken somebody's order with mine. I didn't order these many things!" common we were just three not even three . . .i mean they were just two kids. . how much can they eat!!
"bhaiya! i ordered it!!"
"whattttttt??? why? why did you order so many pizzas?" i howled
he,"well i figured out we were three and so three pizza and i ordered a medium one for munni"
me,"whattttt? oh god!!!!!!!"
finally after shelling out 800 bucks I was left with pizzas and pizzas and more pizzas. . .
we could distribute them to the whole neighborhood and still few pieces would remain!

"I want a cake!" the little girl announced. . ."I don't want pizza. . ."
believe me these kids were so small but still they desired the whole world. . .
"Cake!! i gave the chocolates now shut ur mouth and sit down" I screamed

she cried and cried out louder. . .
i had to do soemthing. . ."ok fine i will get you the cake!"
I sent the boy to get some milk cakes from the store. . .

20 mins passed by he did not return. i waited.
40 mins. . ."what is making him so late!" i thought. now I was worried. . .
I held the girl and set out to look for him.
He was not in the basement, neither in the store, nor in the street. . .
even the watchman had not seen him. . .
Now i was tensed. . .
it was more than an hour now.

What should I do? Should I call his mom, no maybe his dad,
I am such a fool, I should have never sent him. what am i gonna do. . .

I set out with the watchman to search for the boy,
he was no where. . .
then suddenly i saw a group of boys playing cricket in the other lane,
and. . .

he was there. . .
Thankkk God!!! I thought. . .
I slapped on his face "If you do this again I am gonna kill you"
He cried she cried.
God kids are such a pain in the ass. . .
they me go crazy. . .

Finally we returned home and watched pogo and ate pizzas for dinner.
It was 9 pm and uncle arrived.

"how r u? hope the kids didn't truble you much!"he said.
"oh no. . .they were very good. In fact i had a great time" and I exchanged looks with the kids!!!

The Courier

DING DONG!!!!!!
I really really hate it when someone knocks at the door when i am fast asleep!
Common is 11 am a time to wake up. . . .that too in holidays!!!!!!!!!

I got up somehow and went upto the door! It was a courier guy.
Now who the hell had couriered me???

It was the Symbiosis Institute of management. I really don't know if i would get a seat into any of these B-Schools but i had applied to all of them, just in case my luck favors me!!!!!!

But really a heavy package! What the hell did he send me btw. . .

wait a min. . . . .
Oh gosh!!

I not only received my application form but also someone else's!!
Humm these courier guys. . . . they r soo careless!!!
And he was already gone.

let me see. . . .ummmm. . .
wait. . . i have the applicant's number on the form!!
The address read. . .

NEHA JAIN,
10-23/12, Malakpet,
Hyderabad.
Ph: 09985143143

Nice name!!
Common how could I not help her. . . I mean it's her application form and I am a responsible citizen. . . and a very good guy

I called her up. . .

SHE: "Hulo! Who is dis??"
ME: (mannnn. . .wahta a sweet voice. . . )
me regaining senses. . .
"Is this Neha?"
SHE: Yes I am. Who are you?
Me : well have you received your Symbiosis application? I am sure You have not, bcoz its with me!
SHE: HUh??? wat r u saying?? Who r u??
ME: I am mythreya. . .well you can call me matty!
SHE: HUH?? Well Myth.....or matty wateva.....could you be more clear. I am not at all able to understand you!!
ME: Actually the courier guy. . . .

and I told her d whole story. . . .and gave my address. . .
She thanked me and told me she would come today evening!!!!
what a sweet voice she had!!!!

I waited and waited. . . .
Hours seem to be years now. . .
suddenly the clock ticked so slowly. . .

the door bell rang again!!!!!

it must be her. . .

I opened the door!!

WOW!!!

You know a very interesting fact!!
Girls with the name NEHA are damn beautiful!!!

She was soo beautiful. . .
She wore a salwar, but still managed to look damn pretty!!!

I asked her to come in. Then told her the whole story all over again hw d courier guy had mistaken and blah blah. . .
Gave her application. . .

She asked me which colleges i was applying and everything abt me. . .
usual talk. . .

then. . .

SHE: I am really very thankful to you! You know you could also have jus neglected the courier and thrown it of. . . but you helped me. . .really really thanx. . .I don't know hw to thank you actually!!
ME: (I couldn't let go this beautiful chance and my master mind was already at work. . .)
Don't worry much NEHA. . . .well if you really wanna thank me then you can jus say it with a cup of coffee!!! Hope you drink coffee???
SHE: (she was a bit confused! she gave me what-d-hell look)
ME: common. . . Its just a cup of pure coffee. . .
SHE: Ok!! finee. . .

WOW!! I was already on a date!!!
yeah. . . a date with a beautiful girl whom i had just knew!!!
and my heart said. . . .
Life is indeed beautiful!!!!
U R TOO GOOD MATTY!!!

SUDDENLY. . . . .

DING DONG!!!!!!!

HUH? doorbell in a coffee shop???????????

I looked around. . . things looked a bit hazy. . . .
The application was lying beside me and on MY BED!!!!!!!

WTF!!!!!!!

I was dreaming!!!!!!!!!!!
aaaaarrrggghhhh!!!

woke up again. . . .
opened the door;
a man was standing . . .

he said" Hi Its NEHA. . . .

me, " WHATTTTT?? You r neha?????"

"No No! I am actually NEHA's Brother! dude could you get me d application fast! I am in a hurry."

I gave him the application and he left without even saying thank you!!!

told you. . . . .(sh)IT HAPPENS!!!
THIS IS WHAT THEY CALL LIFE!!!

Gand Mein Padgayi Danda

Finally finished with the crap exams. . . .

I hate myself for not blogging for days. . .

Screwed up all exams. . . .don't know if I will pass all. . .

CAT ne mara diya danda. . . .
this time i didn't screw any exam. . .
it screwed me hard!!

Gand Mein Padgayi Danda Yaroon. . . . .

and Mom and Dad are sure for the zillionth time that I am good for nothing. . .
and this time they r even sure that i have lost the last bit of sense in me. . . .

an MBA application form asked me why i was doing the crap MBA stuff. . . .

well . . .

it all started bcoz my ex wanted to do her MBA and she jus dragged me to those CAt classes. .
now she is gone and i am left with this wried thing. . .

even DAD WANTED!
he was shocked when i said i would do my MBA. . .
my parents were overjoyed that finally i had regained my senses. . .wateva. . .

But still. . .the girls in the college profiles look damn good. . .
maybe worth trying. . . .

and as friend once told me. .
"Do Your MBA If You Want a Beautiful Wife and a Luxury Car"

not bad. . . .

Exams over and no good movie is in the line up. . .

Saw Goal. . GOD!!
why do they make such kinda crap movies. . .
even i would have directed it better. . .

And someone PLZ tell SRK NOT TO EXPOSE AGAIN!!
HE LOOKS LIKE A GAY IN THAT DARD-E-DISCO. .

and still Om Shanti Om is a Hit. . .
Give me a break!!!

so same old story. . .

life is hell. . .
still single and dying. . .

and i gained 5 pounds this month. . .
what can get worse. . . .

but the silver lining. . . . .

Rahul forgot his 1000 bucks he lent me. . .
rahul u r great. . .thanx buddy. . .


now i jus hope he doesn't read this!!!!!

Give me a break!!!!!

I am suffering from hypersomnia....

and as usual.... my life is back to hell...

i didn't shave since two weeks..
forgot to take my bath yesterday...
but..luckily I remembered to brush my teeth today..

As I opened my door . .
the girl next door gave me the "who the hell let him out of the zoo" look..

poor girl...i did scare her...

no food in the house...damn it...
i am hungry but too lazy to change my pyjamas and get some food from the outside...
the house is soo untidy..

well this is what happens usually when my mom and dad leave me alone in the home...

no college.... some damn preparation holidays for some fucking semester exams...
but all i do is...rest my fat ass on the couch and watch the damn t.v.

and believe me even the t.v. runs some crap nowadays..
the news channels are busy with who-is-dating-whom stuff...
like i ever cared...
and as usual the ekta kapoor's damned sas-bahu serials are running their zillionth episode!!!

then i turn to my computer...
as usual...

yahoo says i have four new mails...

the first one a chain mail asking me to forward it or....i will face bad luck till the rest of my stupid life...
huh?
like i am having good luck now!!!!!!

the second one a damn add from the shadi.com asking me if i am interested!!
humm....sorry dude!!
I am just 20...can't marry...it's illegal!!!!

the third one from my friend forwarding me some so called hot wallpapers...
common...i am not a school kid to see porn stuff and hot wall papers on the net!!!!
huhhhhhh......

and finally the fourth one is from my communication systems lecturer asking me to submit my assignment or i shall be hanged by the end of the day!!!!
Ohhh god!

And rahul calls me and says.....

"you drunken bastard...
what the hell are you doing?
It's Wednesday you idiot!!!
You got the lab exam this afternoon...."

huh!!!!
what the hell......
I thought it was Tuesday....
Oh god....
Give me a break......