It was Saturday. We met on a date. Well its kinda the last dates you have before your breakup. Suddenly the food tastes terrible, you have nothing to talk like you just came to shave your pocket for some crap pizza. Life is like this only. Even the beautiful girls around you don't lighten up. They are all the same. Bitches. Walking into and out of your life just in a second.
She looked beautiful though. In her usual attire. No man could remove his eyes from her. But today i couldn't eve look at her. But, then my eyes fell on her slender neck. I anted to kiss her. But couldn't.
When you want to kiss your girlfriend and you don't the its the time when you realize its the time to call it off. Every thing's going to be over soon. End of story.
All I wanted to say to her was ok fine. Go away but not that idiot. Atleast I am better than him!!!
Yup you got it right. I am talking abt vishal.
He was scoring sixes and i was out for a duck.
The Sunday's were really boring. Doing nothing. Boring Boring Boring...
Then suddenly my phone rang...
It was pooja.
"Hey. If you are free then could you make it my home. We have a small party."
I should have said no.. but...
"Hey Youngman! Its good to see you here. So. How is it going?"
Thats was Pooja's dad... and he was not talking with me...
It was that bastard. He had done every possible thing to kill me.
Well I should had expected this. Pooja's dad hated me always. Well why not. He was a rich businessman and I was just a mediocre guy with no millions in the bank nor a great family background.
I was simple. At the beginning when I asked why she loved me she used to say she liked my down to earth attitude, she like my contentedness. And now... well all I get to hear these days is I am not ambitious, I don't have high aims and how she hated my simpleton attitude.
Wow. Now what can one say!!
I hated this party. But fine I had the drinks. She would kill me if I got drunk. But who cares anyway I am dead already. We had everything, breezers for the kids, wishky for the drunken , and vodka... yup this was for me!!
Oh! gosh! what happened....
I don't remeber a thing. Wait... oh boy was I so drunk...
I woke up in a strange place. Was I dreaming?
What the hell!!! I was in Vishal's room.
"Hey dude? How are you feeling? You screwed up man!!"
"What... "
Well in life you sometimes wish if you could just run away from evrything if you could hide become invisible. This was my moment.
I was drunk and I made a mess out of the party behaving like a Sharabi... slapping people around behaving like astret dog.. yes the kinda of drunken morons you see in typical hindi movies.
This was the end of the end. And this bastard acted the hero by bringing me to his place.
He was the hero. And the loser.
Certainly this was not going to be a happy ending!!!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
The begining of the end!!
I didn’t know if I was suffering from any disease or if I was really dying. My doctor said all I need was some good sleep. I couldn’t sleep. My eyes forgot to close, but my heart was still beating slowly. In insomnia you are don’t sleep and you are neither awake. My food didn’t taste good, my life was at its worst. Pooja left me ….finally….. maybe forever.
It was Thursday I guess or maybe Friday I don’t remember exactly, I woke up late, didn’t go to college as usual. I saw burnt scraps of papers and empty vodka bottles all over my room: ashes of letters and photographs which she returned eventually. It took me a minute to realize that I had been drinking. I had promised her I would never ever drink again but few promises are meant to be broken few relationships are destined to be broken. She promised me she would never leave me, but. . . .
Wait…. Roll back … Exactly Three Months ago….
Yes this was when I first met that bastard Vishal. I don’t know why when Pooja introduced him to me I hated him at the very first time. Call it envy or whatever but I couldn’t stand him for some unknown reasons. Pooja didn’t tell him we were more than friends, why? I wanted to ask her but didn’t.
Ok you can call me possessive or sensitive or whatever but I am a normal man with not a big heart. Sorry I am what I am!
A week later….
Pooja didn’t call me the whole day. She never did that. I tried to call her but her phone was off. Then suddenly a message appeared that she was out with her cousin busy shopping and her battery was dead. She asked me not to call back. Nothing else to do I called up Vijay and decided to kill my time by watching a movie if not at least sleep in the hall. Even I had to do some shopping tomorrow was Pooja’s b’day. I had to buy her a gift. Girls how specific they were about these stuffs: Gifts roses chocolates and what not.
Vijay called “dude! where are you?” “I saw Pooja with someone….”.
I replied, “Ya man. She is with her cousin” “Oh! So he is her brother?”
“What!! Ya think so. She didn’t tell me< actually her battery…..”
It was 11:58 pm. I had put an alarm to wish Pooja at midnight. Of course I had to be the one who was supposed to wish her first. Those two mins were really hell. Never knew two mins could be so looong.
I called her. It was busy. What!! Who could call her before me? Was I late? No. It was exactly 12. Man I dialed again. Same busy. What the hell I thought.
Fifteen mins past twelve I kept my calm though I tried a zillion times already. I hated it. Someone else was wishing my girlfriend before me.
I didn’t cal anymore I slept. Then my phone rang. It was her.
“Sorry Sorry plz …”
“ Ok ok happy b’day…. Who was it?”
“Oh it was Vishal. I didn’t know he remembered my b’day. “
“Good for you. Ok goodnight happy b’day once again. I am feeling sleepy. I better go. Bye.”
“Wait! That’s it…”
“Ya well… will see you tomorrow. Bye”
I hung up. I couldn’t sleep. I hated him more. And I loved her less.
The afternoon I met Pooja, we were supposed to meet for lunch. I was finally alone with her.
Then . . . .
I heard a familiar voice. I looked up. It was him, Vishal. Smiling.
“Hey guys, never thought you would be here!” “So. . . .”
“Why don’t you join us” Pooja said.
He was invading my life now. I hated him. I thought maybe the law will not hang me after listening to my story, if I killed him right away, maybe I will have to live the rest of my life in jail, maybe….. I raised my fork but…
A week passed by. Now we started fighting even on little things. We were behaving once again like teenagers. Immature, silly but still …..
By the end of the month we no longer kissed each other goodbye and goodnights. The romance was clearly out of track.
It seemed as if we were bored of each other’s company. She no longer blushed neither did I drop my jaws on looking at her.
“And they lived happily ever after…” ending seemed to be fainting in my love life.
But nevertheless her thoughts dwindled in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking of her. Pride and prejudice. Yup it became my story now.
One long dry month ended.
It was Thursday I guess or maybe Friday I don’t remember exactly, I woke up late, didn’t go to college as usual. I saw burnt scraps of papers and empty vodka bottles all over my room: ashes of letters and photographs which she returned eventually. It took me a minute to realize that I had been drinking. I had promised her I would never ever drink again but few promises are meant to be broken few relationships are destined to be broken. She promised me she would never leave me, but. . . .
Wait…. Roll back … Exactly Three Months ago….
Yes this was when I first met that bastard Vishal. I don’t know why when Pooja introduced him to me I hated him at the very first time. Call it envy or whatever but I couldn’t stand him for some unknown reasons. Pooja didn’t tell him we were more than friends, why? I wanted to ask her but didn’t.
Ok you can call me possessive or sensitive or whatever but I am a normal man with not a big heart. Sorry I am what I am!
A week later….
Pooja didn’t call me the whole day. She never did that. I tried to call her but her phone was off. Then suddenly a message appeared that she was out with her cousin busy shopping and her battery was dead. She asked me not to call back. Nothing else to do I called up Vijay and decided to kill my time by watching a movie if not at least sleep in the hall. Even I had to do some shopping tomorrow was Pooja’s b’day. I had to buy her a gift. Girls how specific they were about these stuffs: Gifts roses chocolates and what not.
Vijay called “dude! where are you?” “I saw Pooja with someone….”.
I replied, “Ya man. She is with her cousin” “Oh! So he is her brother?”
“What!! Ya think so. She didn’t tell me< actually her battery…..”
It was 11:58 pm. I had put an alarm to wish Pooja at midnight. Of course I had to be the one who was supposed to wish her first. Those two mins were really hell. Never knew two mins could be so looong.
I called her. It was busy. What!! Who could call her before me? Was I late? No. It was exactly 12. Man I dialed again. Same busy. What the hell I thought.
Fifteen mins past twelve I kept my calm though I tried a zillion times already. I hated it. Someone else was wishing my girlfriend before me.
I didn’t cal anymore I slept. Then my phone rang. It was her.
“Sorry Sorry plz …”
“ Ok ok happy b’day…. Who was it?”
“Oh it was Vishal. I didn’t know he remembered my b’day. “
“Good for you. Ok goodnight happy b’day once again. I am feeling sleepy. I better go. Bye.”
“Wait! That’s it…”
“Ya well… will see you tomorrow. Bye”
I hung up. I couldn’t sleep. I hated him more. And I loved her less.
The afternoon I met Pooja, we were supposed to meet for lunch. I was finally alone with her.
Then . . . .
I heard a familiar voice. I looked up. It was him, Vishal. Smiling.
“Hey guys, never thought you would be here!” “So. . . .”
“Why don’t you join us” Pooja said.
He was invading my life now. I hated him. I thought maybe the law will not hang me after listening to my story, if I killed him right away, maybe I will have to live the rest of my life in jail, maybe….. I raised my fork but…
A week passed by. Now we started fighting even on little things. We were behaving once again like teenagers. Immature, silly but still …..
By the end of the month we no longer kissed each other goodbye and goodnights. The romance was clearly out of track.
It seemed as if we were bored of each other’s company. She no longer blushed neither did I drop my jaws on looking at her.
“And they lived happily ever after…” ending seemed to be fainting in my love life.
But nevertheless her thoughts dwindled in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking of her. Pride and prejudice. Yup it became my story now.
One long dry month ended.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
The Rebirth
I always believed that things would change in a day. That sorrows were mere clouds and not the everlasting sky. That joy was the ever shining sun; sometimes playfully hiding behind the clouds of “sorrow”. Dejected, defeated and hopelessly I had almost started believing that my dreams were shattered; would never again be fixed together. I was almost lost in the mirage of grief. I had two backlogs and not even a great aggregate; I felt them as a permanent stain not only on my mark sheet but on my life. Everyone, almost everyone looked down upon me. I was a mice in the rat race. I colud do nothing but pray.
Never knew prayers really worked. Never knew miracles do happen. Never knew God saw even an ugly mortal like me. My results were out four days before my first interview. “All clear”. Never ever heard those words in my heart for years now. After three tiring semesters I did not see an “F” in my mark sheet. Mercy was in fact sweet. I gathered myself. I had four days left. I did not even touch my books thinking I was not eligible. Now I wanted to read but I could not. All day I ate and tried to sleep; sometimes I ran through the pages. My heart sank a little. Then the D-Day arrived.
Never ever I my life I wore formal clothes. I woke up at four, shaved early in the morning, got my self dressed. I reached my college at eight. Never ever I stepped my college before eleven. All my peers greeted me. We were dressed alike but still managing to smile. Right then our first company arrived. After a long presentation about their company, then we were called for the written exam. After battling for one never ending hour with those questions we made an exit from the hall. Now the butterflies in our stomach started to spread their wings. But still we tried to flaunt that we were normal. But inside we all knew what was going on.
The results were announced, my heart started beating, my legs started shivering, and someone called my name. But did I hear it, was it my name, am I in? All sort of questions shaped up my mind. Then like suddenly waking up from a sound sleep I woke up in the battle field. I was called instantly for the interview. The interviewer called me in. There are moments in life when you wish you had the Mr.India invisible gadget; when you want to run away from everything and hide under you bed. This was mine. I don’t really remember when the shaking and shivering of my body parts started without my knowledge. The interviewer smiled and offered me a glass of water. Then he asked me to tell me about myself. I couldn’t even remember my college name. Then I took a deep breath and went on with the interview. Questions hit me like a missile. I never even heard the things he asked or was I deaf remained an unsolved mystery. After an half an hour I was asked to leave. “Best of luck for your future.” That’s what the interviewer told me with a sigh. Now I really couldn’t decode that expression. Was he impressed; will he select me? Man! That really killed me.
It took five long hours for the whole interview process to complete. Five hundred appeared for the interview. Two hundred and fifty passed the written. Now how many will make it to the hall of fame, was what we eagerly awaited. It was ten thirty and then the HR team arrived with the list of the lucky persons, the blessed ones. The whole list was read out. I didn’t find my name in the long list of hundred and six. My ears refused to believe; my heart still sounded hopeful maybe there are more, maybe. But all hopes sunk. Life this was the end. My first interview was a disaster. I had once again lost in my career, in my life. I was really a mice. Every other guy was celebrating, calling his parents making them proud and I had disappointed all those hopeful faces who believed I would make it. I reached home. Before my parents could ask anything, my silence said it all. I could not sleep.
After a dull week, I woke up to my next interview. But hope died a brutal death. No more smiles no more prayers. I walked into the college. We all looked at each other and tried to bring in back the spirit. But we failed very badly. The written was once again a googly. Again kept me in mystery weather I would make it or not. But then God only knows what happened I made it again for the interview. Again I was called instantly. But this time there was an extra round the real hell – ‘the technical interview’. I had no idea about the technical part. I was the worst. I had made up my mind to return home straight after the interview thinking anyway I would screw it. The interviewer, this time a much younger a seemingly friendly gentleman, called me in. He was slowly trying to bisect me. Bring out everything I had in my small and insignificant so called brain. After a long hour of questionnaire, he smiled a devil’s smile and finally handed me the HR form. I was shocked I had cleared the most difficult part. But now there was still a bouncer left. I went in. This time it was a very beautiful lady. Well her beauty distracted me a bit though but did put me at ease. The HR interview was the real trap. It looked like cake walk from the outside but inside it was all waist-deep waters. Somehow managing to kill the time and trying to hide my butterflies, I completed my interview.
The most amazing thing about my life is the hope never died out in me. Somewhere in my body it still existed. I was not confident though. But still something told me I might make it. The results were announced after all the interviews were over. My heart sank again. I kept my fingers crossed. “Rahul, Vijay, Ajay, Raja…..” where is my name; I wondered. Then there it was though for a micro second but I felt someone called me out. I couldn’t believe I was in a dilemma. My friends screamed they hugged me. We all had made it. Now I started believing. I took a deep breath. Thanked the almighty. Tears ran down eyes. Never knew success was so sweet. I called up my parents. They were overwhelmed. I made them proud. My life started to bear a meaning. This mice had won. This backbencher had made it. Clouds do have a silver lining.
Never knew prayers really worked. Never knew miracles do happen. Never knew God saw even an ugly mortal like me. My results were out four days before my first interview. “All clear”. Never ever heard those words in my heart for years now. After three tiring semesters I did not see an “F” in my mark sheet. Mercy was in fact sweet. I gathered myself. I had four days left. I did not even touch my books thinking I was not eligible. Now I wanted to read but I could not. All day I ate and tried to sleep; sometimes I ran through the pages. My heart sank a little. Then the D-Day arrived.
Never ever I my life I wore formal clothes. I woke up at four, shaved early in the morning, got my self dressed. I reached my college at eight. Never ever I stepped my college before eleven. All my peers greeted me. We were dressed alike but still managing to smile. Right then our first company arrived. After a long presentation about their company, then we were called for the written exam. After battling for one never ending hour with those questions we made an exit from the hall. Now the butterflies in our stomach started to spread their wings. But still we tried to flaunt that we were normal. But inside we all knew what was going on.
The results were announced, my heart started beating, my legs started shivering, and someone called my name. But did I hear it, was it my name, am I in? All sort of questions shaped up my mind. Then like suddenly waking up from a sound sleep I woke up in the battle field. I was called instantly for the interview. The interviewer called me in. There are moments in life when you wish you had the Mr.India invisible gadget; when you want to run away from everything and hide under you bed. This was mine. I don’t really remember when the shaking and shivering of my body parts started without my knowledge. The interviewer smiled and offered me a glass of water. Then he asked me to tell me about myself. I couldn’t even remember my college name. Then I took a deep breath and went on with the interview. Questions hit me like a missile. I never even heard the things he asked or was I deaf remained an unsolved mystery. After an half an hour I was asked to leave. “Best of luck for your future.” That’s what the interviewer told me with a sigh. Now I really couldn’t decode that expression. Was he impressed; will he select me? Man! That really killed me.
It took five long hours for the whole interview process to complete. Five hundred appeared for the interview. Two hundred and fifty passed the written. Now how many will make it to the hall of fame, was what we eagerly awaited. It was ten thirty and then the HR team arrived with the list of the lucky persons, the blessed ones. The whole list was read out. I didn’t find my name in the long list of hundred and six. My ears refused to believe; my heart still sounded hopeful maybe there are more, maybe. But all hopes sunk. Life this was the end. My first interview was a disaster. I had once again lost in my career, in my life. I was really a mice. Every other guy was celebrating, calling his parents making them proud and I had disappointed all those hopeful faces who believed I would make it. I reached home. Before my parents could ask anything, my silence said it all. I could not sleep.
After a dull week, I woke up to my next interview. But hope died a brutal death. No more smiles no more prayers. I walked into the college. We all looked at each other and tried to bring in back the spirit. But we failed very badly. The written was once again a googly. Again kept me in mystery weather I would make it or not. But then God only knows what happened I made it again for the interview. Again I was called instantly. But this time there was an extra round the real hell – ‘the technical interview’. I had no idea about the technical part. I was the worst. I had made up my mind to return home straight after the interview thinking anyway I would screw it. The interviewer, this time a much younger a seemingly friendly gentleman, called me in. He was slowly trying to bisect me. Bring out everything I had in my small and insignificant so called brain. After a long hour of questionnaire, he smiled a devil’s smile and finally handed me the HR form. I was shocked I had cleared the most difficult part. But now there was still a bouncer left. I went in. This time it was a very beautiful lady. Well her beauty distracted me a bit though but did put me at ease. The HR interview was the real trap. It looked like cake walk from the outside but inside it was all waist-deep waters. Somehow managing to kill the time and trying to hide my butterflies, I completed my interview.
The most amazing thing about my life is the hope never died out in me. Somewhere in my body it still existed. I was not confident though. But still something told me I might make it. The results were announced after all the interviews were over. My heart sank again. I kept my fingers crossed. “Rahul, Vijay, Ajay, Raja…..” where is my name; I wondered. Then there it was though for a micro second but I felt someone called me out. I couldn’t believe I was in a dilemma. My friends screamed they hugged me. We all had made it. Now I started believing. I took a deep breath. Thanked the almighty. Tears ran down eyes. Never knew success was so sweet. I called up my parents. They were overwhelmed. I made them proud. My life started to bear a meaning. This mice had won. This backbencher had made it. Clouds do have a silver lining.
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