The Rebirth

I always believed that things would change in a day. That sorrows were mere clouds and not the everlasting sky. That joy was the ever shining sun; sometimes playfully hiding behind the clouds of “sorrow”. Dejected, defeated and hopelessly I had almost started believing that my dreams were shattered; would never again be fixed together. I was almost lost in the mirage of grief. I had two backlogs and not even a great aggregate; I felt them as a permanent stain not only on my mark sheet but on my life. Everyone, almost everyone looked down upon me. I was a mice in the rat race. I colud do nothing but pray.
Never knew prayers really worked. Never knew miracles do happen. Never knew God saw even an ugly mortal like me. My results were out four days before my first interview. “All clear”. Never ever heard those words in my heart for years now. After three tiring semesters I did not see an “F” in my mark sheet. Mercy was in fact sweet. I gathered myself. I had four days left. I did not even touch my books thinking I was not eligible. Now I wanted to read but I could not. All day I ate and tried to sleep; sometimes I ran through the pages. My heart sank a little. Then the D-Day arrived.
Never ever I my life I wore formal clothes. I woke up at four, shaved early in the morning, got my self dressed. I reached my college at eight. Never ever I stepped my college before eleven. All my peers greeted me. We were dressed alike but still managing to smile. Right then our first company arrived. After a long presentation about their company, then we were called for the written exam. After battling for one never ending hour with those questions we made an exit from the hall. Now the butterflies in our stomach started to spread their wings. But still we tried to flaunt that we were normal. But inside we all knew what was going on.
The results were announced, my heart started beating, my legs started shivering, and someone called my name. But did I hear it, was it my name, am I in? All sort of questions shaped up my mind. Then like suddenly waking up from a sound sleep I woke up in the battle field. I was called instantly for the interview. The interviewer called me in. There are moments in life when you wish you had the Mr.India invisible gadget; when you want to run away from everything and hide under you bed. This was mine. I don’t really remember when the shaking and shivering of my body parts started without my knowledge. The interviewer smiled and offered me a glass of water. Then he asked me to tell me about myself. I couldn’t even remember my college name. Then I took a deep breath and went on with the interview. Questions hit me like a missile. I never even heard the things he asked or was I deaf remained an unsolved mystery. After an half an hour I was asked to leave. “Best of luck for your future.” That’s what the interviewer told me with a sigh. Now I really couldn’t decode that expression. Was he impressed; will he select me? Man! That really killed me.
It took five long hours for the whole interview process to complete. Five hundred appeared for the interview. Two hundred and fifty passed the written. Now how many will make it to the hall of fame, was what we eagerly awaited. It was ten thirty and then the HR team arrived with the list of the lucky persons, the blessed ones. The whole list was read out. I didn’t find my name in the long list of hundred and six. My ears refused to believe; my heart still sounded hopeful maybe there are more, maybe. But all hopes sunk. Life this was the end. My first interview was a disaster. I had once again lost in my career, in my life. I was really a mice. Every other guy was celebrating, calling his parents making them proud and I had disappointed all those hopeful faces who believed I would make it. I reached home. Before my parents could ask anything, my silence said it all. I could not sleep.
After a dull week, I woke up to my next interview. But hope died a brutal death. No more smiles no more prayers. I walked into the college. We all looked at each other and tried to bring in back the spirit. But we failed very badly. The written was once again a googly. Again kept me in mystery weather I would make it or not. But then God only knows what happened I made it again for the interview. Again I was called instantly. But this time there was an extra round the real hell – ‘the technical interview’. I had no idea about the technical part. I was the worst. I had made up my mind to return home straight after the interview thinking anyway I would screw it. The interviewer, this time a much younger a seemingly friendly gentleman, called me in. He was slowly trying to bisect me. Bring out everything I had in my small and insignificant so called brain. After a long hour of questionnaire, he smiled a devil’s smile and finally handed me the HR form. I was shocked I had cleared the most difficult part. But now there was still a bouncer left. I went in. This time it was a very beautiful lady. Well her beauty distracted me a bit though but did put me at ease. The HR interview was the real trap. It looked like cake walk from the outside but inside it was all waist-deep waters. Somehow managing to kill the time and trying to hide my butterflies, I completed my interview.
The most amazing thing about my life is the hope never died out in me. Somewhere in my body it still existed. I was not confident though. But still something told me I might make it. The results were announced after all the interviews were over. My heart sank again. I kept my fingers crossed. “Rahul, Vijay, Ajay, Raja…..” where is my name; I wondered. Then there it was though for a micro second but I felt someone called me out. I couldn’t believe I was in a dilemma. My friends screamed they hugged me. We all had made it. Now I started believing. I took a deep breath. Thanked the almighty. Tears ran down eyes. Never knew success was so sweet. I called up my parents. They were overwhelmed. I made them proud. My life started to bear a meaning. This mice had won. This backbencher had made it. Clouds do have a silver lining.