The Rao's Part 2

this is a continuation of the Roa's Part 1 

.................................................

"Oh god please help him this time! I will fast now every saturday also if he gets the visa. I will walk all the way up the Tirupati hill for your darshan. I will also make sure this time Ramesh shaves his head for you. Oh god! Please help my son." kausalya prayed just like any other Indian mother. This time she had a long list of offerings and just a small request, the Visa.

They say when it comes to the Visa it's all pure luck. 

"After the terrorist attacks, I have heard they are rejecting Visas. I tell you it is very difficult to get one these days. You know my brother's neighbor's son, his Visa was rejected recently. I have heard he even had a 75% in his bachelors. By the way, how much did Ramesh get? Does he has distinction? kausalya... are you even listening to what I am saying?" Malini, kausalya's neighbor was trying to share her insights. 

But.. Kausalya.. she was lost in her prayers. Malini's words, though they reached her ears but they never made it to her mind. 

Kausalya knew only one thing. Each and everything is in the hands of the almighty. And she was determined to please him.

..........................................

"Maaaaaaaa..... I did it... I flying to the USA... MBA.... mom... your son is going to be an M.B.A," Ramesh screamed with joy and hugged Kausalya. At that moment kausalya forgot everything, herself, her god, all she knew that it was the happiest moment of her son's life and so as her's. 

Tears and Kausalya were close sisters. Kausalya expressed her every emotion with tears. She would cry if she was sad, she would cry even if she was happy and even in anger. 

"Your name should have been ganga instead of Kausalya," Srinivas would always remark.

But today they were the happy ones. 

The god of visa had indeed answered her prayers.

"I will have to pay four lakhs as first instalment to the college in a week," Ramesh declared.

"Yes yes. Don't worry. Your father will look after that," Kausalya said with a certain conviction although she didn't knew how her husband, an employee at a small private firm, could manage that.

"In one month I will be in California, USA. Mom do you even know how far is California from here? It takes almost a day even if you travel by the plane," Ramesh seemed all excited about his future.

And all kausalya could see was that her son would leave her and go to some far far land. Twenty two years and never ever was he away from her. Or was he?

She remembered, two years ago Ramesh had gone to a tour with his friends for a week. She remembered how she would call him day and night. She was so worried about his food. And about his safety, infact she never ever wanted to allow him to go so far to Goa all alone with his friends. But Ramesh would not listen to her.

"Will you call me everyday from California?" Asked kausalya with tears in her eyes.

"Of course I will Ma! Maaaaaa... Please don't cry not today at least. I am in such a happy mood," Ramesh tried to cheer her up. 

"Well I have lot of things to do. I need to do my shopping, by the way I need all new clothes I tell you. I will also have to buy a laptop and the most important thing I need to book the ticket as early as possible. There are lot of things. I better write them down," Ramesh was lost in his own world. Infact in his new world.

.........................................

DING DINGG!

"It must be your father. Open the door beta," Kausalya screamed from the Kitchen. 

"Oh mom! Please do it for yourself. I am busy on the internet," Ramesh replied.

Rubbing her face with her dough hands she made a dash to the door. She knew it, it was her husband. 

"Ramesh got the Visa!" kausalya cried out with ecxitment as soon as she saw Srinivas.

"He got the Visa today morning. Didn't I tell you my prayers would be answered." She repeated thinking Srinivas might not have listened to her properly.

Srinivas looked tired more than usual. 

He did hear the news, but there was no excitment, no happiness in his face. No reaction.

'What happened? Let me get you a glass of water first. I know you must be tired," kausalya rushed to fetch a glass of water. 

"So what do you think? Oh! I am sorry. Ramesh should tell you this by himself. let me call him," kausalya tried to call Ramesh but was interrupted by Srinivas.

"No. Not now. I am not in a good mood." 

"What happened? Is everything ok?" 

"Nothing. Just leave me alone for sometime."

"But tell me what happened!" Kausalya tried to ask.

"Nothing. I told you I am not in a good mood!" Srinivas screamed.

"What do you mean you are not in a good mood. Are you not happy for your son? Don't you wish that he should live a happy life? Now that today he has achieved something, isn't it your duty to share his happiness?" kausalya went on.

"It's not that. I am tired. We will talk tommorrow."

"Tommorrow? When do you have time for us? Always work work work. Why did you even marry me when you don't have time." Tears ran through her cheeks.

"There are so many things you should attend to. So many responsibilities. We have to pay the fees in a week. He has to book his flight ticket. Buy few things. It's only a month you know. We also have to go to Tirupati. So many things..... when do we have time to talk." 

"It's not that! You don't understand!"

"What it is that I don't understand?" 

"I lost my job today!!!!" Srinivas screamed and silence followed.

................................................................

to be continued.....

p.s: I dedicate this story to my parents 

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Note: the characters and the incidents describes in the story are purely fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead. Any resemblance is purely a coincidence.

The Rao's Part 1

"kausalya! Kausalya! Where is my shirt? You know I am getting late to office, I told you yesterday night I have a meeting with my Director today!" screamed Srinivas running out the bathroom with a towel covering his 'vital' parts and water dripping all over the floor.

"Coming coming!" Kausalya ran from the kitchen to help her husband. She slipped on the wet floor but caught hold of the door and saved herself from a fall.

"How many times have I told you to dry up yourself in the bathroom itself! What if I had slipped and fell on floor. Had I factured my leg you would have had to shell out some ten grand for the doctor's bill! And who would have cooked for you? Your mother?" Kausalya replied back to her husband sharply.  She was relieved that she had escaped the fall but she was sad that now she had to clean up the floor all by herself. 

"Atleast eat your breakfast!" kausalya squawked from the back.

"No no! I have to run or I will miss the bus!" Srinivas defended. 

Srinivas dashed towards the exit.

Almost an hour later in the nearby room someone was trying to still sleep even as the sungod trying to wake him himself. 

"Beta! Wake up! Its ten in the morning." kausalya shouted in her usual tone.

"Mom! I slept at two in the morning. Let me have some sleep." Ramesh replied in a sleepy mood.

But he knew it, it was the end of his lovely dream in which he was laying almost naked with three girls on a beach and doing things which are unmentionable in a country like India and unthinkable in a family like the Roa's!

While Ramesh was having his breakfast, kausalya asked, "so what are your plans today? Are you going out? should i cook lunch for you?"

Ramesh paused for a whole minute and thought about things he was supposed to do or might do. When nothing came to his mind, he promptly called Rahul. 

"Hi dude? What! still in bed you idiot! Wake up man..... Hey by the way, how about a movie?.....

 the afternoon show? ... what! we already saw all the movies? nothing left out? .... hey wait a minute.... we didn't see 'Ratoon ki rani' ... oh its not worth! ...nothing ..no scenes kya? ... oh God!   then what shall we do man!! .... do one thing.. just come to my place we will decide.. i am hanging up.... balance low... bye!" Ramesh wondered what he would today. 

"Why don't you go the sidhivinayaka temple today and pray for your MBA result! God's grace is a must in such matters! I am even fasting for you every thursday!" kausalya justified. 

"Mom! Please don't get started now! I am very busy. And anyway, I am sure God has lot to do than to listen to my prayers." Ramesh stated stolidly.

"I tell you its waste arguing with you!" kausalya tried to convince but she knew it was waste. 

"By the way? What is Rahul doing these days? Is he also joining MBA this time?" She enquired. 

She thought it was her parental duty to know about her son's friends. A person's character is judged by the kind of friend's he has. She had read this somewhere.

Kausalya has always wanted Ramesh to do his MBA because one of her distant relatives son had also done his MBA and was now residing in the US of A. 

Though Kausalya never even dreamt of a life without Ramesh, but still she felt her son's life would be secured in the United States of America than the Andhra state of India. She even heard Srinivas telling "the competition in India is too high. All because of population. And the government is so biased. Reservations even in higher education! And we suffer because we were born in a forward caste! This is so injustice!" 

Kausalya had always wished a better life for her son. 

.................................................................

 

Kausalya woke up early that day. It was the judgement day. It was the day her future would be decided. Appa had decided to marry off her if she again failed this time. Her mother was silent as usual and played no significant role rather than cooking and keeping the house clean, so Kausalya couldn't expect any help from her. 

Ramu, he little brother bought her the newspaper. She trembled as she flipped through the pages. '

What if she passed, will appa agree to send her to Madras to study? After all there was no college in her village. How can she stay without appa and amma?' Her mind dwindled around these thoughts. But fate had something else for her.

"The girl cooks very well and also knows stitching. She also sings very well." Amma spoke to a fat lady with hope in her eyes. But nothing seem to convince the fat lady. 

"kausalya please sing the sitarama kalyanam song." Amma asked her.

Kausalya was very nervous. All eyes were fixed on her. Amma had strictly ordered her to not even look up and answer only when asked. 

But admist all these, kausalya quickly glanced from the corner of her eye to have a look at the prospectus groom. He was not at all like she had imagined. He didn't wear the tight bell bottoms, nor did he had the stylish ring the south indian heroes had. She was disappointed.

A week after a letter arrived stating that the fat lady was pleased to accept Kausalya as her daughter-in-law but she had also sent a list of things they wanted and the probable date of marriage. But no one asked what kausalya wanted.   

............................................................

Twenty eight years later, cleaning the shelf, kausalya looked at her wedding photo and thought for a second, was this the life she wanted? Srinivas was a good man. He earned a decent salary. He came home early from work. Never said anything to his wife. What else was needed? 

Suddenly she found something. It was a small Vinayaka Idol. Srinivas had gifted it to her on their first anniversary. She smiled looking at it.

She wondered sometimes if Srinivas now remembered  their anniversary or as a matter of fact even her birthday!

'When was the last time Srinivas took her to a movie or to a restaraunt...' she barely remembered any such incident. 

It was years when they last made love.

All their life they had worked hard so that they could afford this thousand square feet apartment and could save for Ramesh's higher studies. 

They never bothered about themselves. 

Srinivas would proudly say "My assest is my son! What more do I need?".

Queitly dusting the books kausalya wondered how they would be able to live when their son leaves for the USA. But what will he eat there? Will he get the same food? She had even heard that the people in the US of A eat cow's meat! 

She was worried how will her vegetarian Brahmin son survive in that country! 

"I will have to pack him atleast five jars of pickels. My poor son!" She tried to console herself.

The Talk

[conversation overheard]

"Hey hey look girls!! Shahid is looking so cute...... wow! I wonder why kareena dumped him?" 

"No i think saif looks matured! Shahid looks like a kid!"

"whatever... move to the next pic!"

"Woooooh! Who is he??????"

"Oooooooh i really don't know where that came from!!! Sorry girls but he... err... he...."

"Just tell us who is he??"

"He is just a friend nothing else! Trsut me!!"

"Are you sure??? I doubt! Bol kab se chal raha hai? God! You didn't even tell us!! Thats bad Pooja, thats bad!!"

"No no nothing like that....please girls ....try to understand me. He is just a friend!"

"Ok enough of crap Poo! Tell us the whole story!"

"Well... ok ok ok!! it was like.. i met him and he is comepletly mad at me!! Right from the first day! he has proposed me and I wanted to ask your help."

"Humm!! Not bad girl! Well he is ok, not bad!"

"Are you nuts! Look at his pot belly!! He is soo fat!!!"

"And god! He has no sense of dressing! Look what he is wearing! Not even branded!!"

"And look at his face yaar! So dull, boring! Not even a smile!!!"

"Common yaar! Just don't decide by the looks!!Pooja I feel he is not that bad"

"Shut up! what the hell do you know about boys?? You never even had a real boy-friend in your life!! I had four of them! I know lot girls! Trust me!!"

"Pooja, tell are you serious about him?? Don't tell me you are dating THIS GUY!!!"

"No no!! He is just a friend! I have not said him yes till now!!"

"That's good! Well lets look at the other prospects! So which car does he own?"

"What!!! He doesn't even own a bike!!!"

"GODDD what are you doing girl!!! he is such a loser!"

"Nevermind! What does he do? Has he got a job or something? Settled??"

"What!!! Jobless!!!"

"Don't tell me about the Recession and all those stupid things!!"

"Look at you! You will get a lot better guys! You have a job. You own a car yourself! Why the hell do you even look at this guy!"

"Please girls! Stop it! Pooja I think what important is the character!!"

"Stop it Priya!! You and your character go to hell. You don't know anything so just shut up! Pooja baby listen to me. Ok lets forget about all the things! he is not rich, he is not settled, but baby what about the looks!! Don't you want six-packs??? Just like john, hrithik, srk!! Common baby there are so many out there. All my boy friends had six packs!! They knew what i want!"

"And hey look closer he even has pimples!!! Ewwwwwww"

"God! So clumsy!"

"How do you bear him even!!"

"By the way.... tell me did you do anything??"

"GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

.....................

Ok folks! I guess the conversation was getting a bit personal so i had to cut down the audio!

Well yeah you guessed it right! 

The guy being talked is of course RAHUL!

just kidding rahul...

its not you. It was me!! 

I have to accept it. It's tough. 

And they tell me it's a "man' s world ou there". 

Wooh!!

P.S: No offence to ladies out there. And yeah even RAHUL doesn't have six pack abs! 

It happened to Me

The scene is set in a dark room with two big monstrous looking guys and a woman who looks even dangerous. They are waiting happily to rip apart me and cut me into small pieces. The typical torture room. I look into the lady's eyes. Red with blood. Suddenly her teeth grows longer and sharper, she bares her claws, the men take out their horrendous weapons. I want to run but GODDD they have chained me...

Everything suddenly goes dark... I feel unconscious. 

SPLASHHHH!!

They throw water upon my face and focus light right into my eyes...

and finally break the silence...

"Draw me the NAND gate using op-amps! Whaat you don't know!!

 What's the amplitude difference between GSM and CDMA?

 Oh! So you are a lousy engineer? Now I know why your marks are so low!"

Yes!

You almost guessed it right. It was one of my B-School interviews!

Trust me i could only give you a verbal description of the torture. It was hell.

...........................................................................................................................................

You know it all starts happily just like a bollywood movie. Happy family, the kids are all smiling, the wife is all smiling. Ok ok I wont go into the movie details now!

It was the same for me too.

i wrote the entrance exams. Fared well.

"Congratulations Mythreya! We are happy to inform you that you have been selected for our next round of selection i.e GD/PI" 

The monitor flashes this "feel good" message. And yeah I am happy, my mom dad.. and not to forget suddenly my girl friend, who thought till yesterday that i was really good for nothing, showers extra loveeeee upon me, pampering me, even the romance is all time high. 

'Wowww! Not bad man' That's what I say to myself.

And then the whole process begins.

PUNE - SIBM interview: the first of the season!

"I love travelling! Yeah trust me. In a way I feel travelling and going to new places helps you discover yourself. I feel like I am so close to nature."

OK! This crap was purely for the interview. 

I land in pune a day earlier so that I could be comfortable with the city and all.

As soon as I enter the streets of Pune looking for a Lodge, my eyes run a 100 miles per sec speed checking out hundreds of girls. BEAUTIFUL GIRLS!! 

Woow! CHICK HEAVEN!

(Really no offence to ladies. I am a nature lover and an admirer of beauty!!! TRUST ME!)

After a nice opening I settle in my room. Wander here and there. look at some more "EYE CANDIES" and then have some nice Maharastrian food. 

The night was long....

We roll in the bed together, clinging together tightly, then a scream.....

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

You dirty minds....what were you thinking!!

it was me screaming and "We" meant THE BED BUGS AND THE MOSQUITO'S which gave me company for the whole night crawling up my body, sucking my sweet blood and yeah thankfully I didn't even close my eyes once the whole night.

THE D-Day : 

Gooosh! It was 10!!! I rushed to look at my call letter. 12 noon reporting time. 2 hours left. Ample time. The calender read "FRIDAY the THIRTEEN". What a day to kick off my first interview of the season!

By 12 I am at their campus. 

IT's one of the Best Campuses in India! 280 acres in a hill top. 2850 feet above the ground. Rather a hill station to put it technically. And a splendid infrastructure. With even a cricket ground!!!

Woow!!

All good things come to an end. And so did the happy scene. 
I was somewhat shocked to see 239 more students along with me. 

Later I realized that this was just a sample, there were several batches like this summing up the total candidates called for the process to be "2400" and try to guess the number of seats...

yeah do it fast...

1000?? No.... Err 750 something....what...no.....hummm common.. atleast 500!!

Well my dear friends... here is the first twist..

Just 180 seats out of which

15% reserved for Management Quota.

25% reserved for SC/ST

10% for OBC 

2% for sports, PH, etc etc

5% for kashmiri migrants and what not...

Pheewww

so the total seats for an OPEN CATEGORY guy like me ended up to be just 80-90!!!!

Now if you are really good at maths calculate the competition.

THIS IS INDIA my friends. THIS is when I am reminded of my country's BILLION PLUS population!!

Now the process..

Unlike other B-Schools, SIBM has an additional round. No not the torture chamber though.

Its called the "Group Task". 

Of course they need some "TOOL" to eliminate so many students!

We went in to a conference room. I socialized with my fellow groupmates or rather to say my fellow "Victims". We became quick friends.

I was the 3rd in the group of 14. 

After waiting patiently for 4 hours they give us food coupons.

As usual none of us ate anything much in the morning. So we dived upon the food.

AND wooh... all we get is a small piece of SANDWICH and they tell us its going to be a loooooong day so plz help yourself with the food!!

As soon as I put my little piece of bread in my gigantic mouth, i get a call..

"K Mythreya! Who is Mythreya here! Quick! Stuff ur food into you mouth and run! It's your turn for the interview!!"

I start running without even cleaning my mouth.

As soon as I enter the Big room I find a lady with two men.

"Please come in Mr.Mythreya!"

I walk in, close the door behind me. And I pull the chair..

KEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!

the chair makes a weary sound! I flash a wried smile on my face.

The lady signals me that i have bread pieces stuck on my lips... 

WHAT A START!!!!!!

And then starts the RAPID FIRE ROUND...

"So you are from ELECTRONICS and COMMUNICATIONS engineering."

after they realize that I am BIG ZERO in Technical background and all I have done is timepass in my engineering they venture into other fields.

"What is MUTUAL FUNDS? STOCK EXCHANGE? CRR? FISCAL POLICY? INFLATION?
  Who is the RBI head?"

I bang my head to answer these questions. Few I succeed and few go to the drain.

Then the usual "OK Mythreya tell us why do you want to do your MBA?"

"Ma'am as you know I am into theatre and stuff... I want to open a production company. So I want to do my MBA!"

"What!! Production company? My dear friend then why didn't you tell us before. We were wasting our and your time! You are in the wrong place man! Why have you come to SIBM!

Go to the National School of Drama or the Film Institute of India. Why MBA???"

Time to defend...

"No ma'am... blah blah"

"See Mythreya you seem to be pretty confused in your life? Think first what you want! You are interested in theatre, drama, why waste your life yaar! This MBA thing is all crap man! Do you think once you step in SIBM money will flow to your feet. Companies will beg you to join. And all the girls run behind you to marry?? please don't be in such a dream! Wake up it's recession time! We are all hit badly!"

All I could do was SHUT MY MOUTH and wonder what the hell happened!!!

"OOh you got a job! No two!!! Pretty good man! Wonderful companies! I say go work for two years and come back! See they are offering you 3 lakhs man.....You know how much I got when I started my career? 1.2 lakh.. and look at you 3! that's pretty good! Just go and do your job man! SIBM is not the place for you!"

Thank You!

And I am kicked out of the interview!!

Again wait for all the 14 guys to finish their interviews! 

I don't know what went wrong... everyone came out smiling out of that dark room except MEEE!!!

Crap man! Crap!

Next was the GT or the GROUP TASK.

A student came in and commanded us..

"Stand in the line according to your numbers! Hey you number 3! Stop chit-chatting! You are here for some purpose!" He screamed at me. 

"Now try to put this fact into your head that you are going in for the GT! It's not an individual task so try to do as a group! Use your head! Bend your ass! Get the task done!"

For a time being I thought I was in some army camp! 

As we entered the room, i saw a small circle and some 7-8 feet away from it was a line beyond which was a hanky!

I was just wondering what the hell is this trap..just then..

"I guess most of you have made out what is the task by seeing it! So go ahead with the task!"

Me, "But ma'am what do we have to do?"

"What! So you haven't browsed through the PagalGuy. So you have not done your homework!"

Mocked again...Damn.. 

The task that lie ahead was not simple. It was clearly impossible!!

14 members into he circle, and we had to make a guy jump from the inside of the circle and make him touch the hanky which was lying some 7-8 feet away and bring him back.

NOTE: he should not touch the ground, none of us should cross the boundary of the circle.

So it implied we had to make him jump in the air. Of course we were also given ropes, bricks, clothes, threads, and two footballs. I wonder what footballs were doing there.

Anyway it was clear now, I was certainly into an army camp doing a TARZAN jump. The good thing was I was not chosen to do the suicidal jump!

And guess what...we were given TWO FULL MINUTES to complete the task!

GREAT!

And yeah just as you thought. We made a fool out of oursleves by just clearing 1 feet and not 7-8 feet. The three panelists though had a good time laughing at us making a fool out of ourselves.

So I even got a group which failed as a group!

Woow!!

After the great GT we were rushed to the GD room.

I didn't know what happened, maybe it's just that I am a mere human. AFter waiting for whole 6 hours and without food and such low on confidence and still entering into a GD room..

I couldn't have felt more luckier!!

As we entered the GD room, it was all set. Two more panleists. 
We were given a case study and we were directed to think as a manager!

I hate case studies man! Common if you could think like a manager then why the hell were you trying to do your MBA!!

Well it was a page long case and I had not even finished reading, they said "START" and two-three people started screaming. In a minute almost 6-7 people started talking. No one was listening to anyone. They were just vomiting sentences. All the charming and nice guys and girls who were with me togther and whom I had imagined to be my future peer group at SIBM had suddenly transformed to some monsters! Everyone yelling at everyone. And I had the GREAT BLACKOUT!

I was blank! I didn't understand what was going on. My throat went dry. 

Into the 5th minute, I thought it's now or never. Then suddenly my dear friend No.2 kicks my leg and signals me 'OPEN YOUR STUPID MOUTH!'

I enter the GD finally... BUT.... suddenly everyone stops and they look at me. Pin drop Silence. 

I stare for a full  second at them and then suddnely i shout some crap which is completly irrelevent to the topic and I am again silent.

I do the same shit twice more and shut down for the rest of the GD.

Finally after 12 mins of hell the GD is done with. The panel starts asking few guys to summurize. They were poor souls who couldnt open their mouth just like me.

I am pretty good at summrizing. This is finally my chance.

And wooooooooooh!!

I am NOT asked!!!

They ask to leave....leave just like that...

My last chance to make an impression also went down the drain.

And as I leave the room... Only one thought came to my mind...

"FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!!!"

The day finally ended...or atleast I thought so.....

GOD had some more things in store for me...

It was alredy 8:30 when i reached PUNE bus-stand. I went in hoping to find a good bus so that I can go and just book my ticket and then eat my dinner and sleep.

Guess what happens!!

SHIT!!

"It's friday dude!!" Thats what the travels guy tells me.

All the poeple of PUNE suddenly felt the strong urge to go to Hyderabad on a friday night!

Crap!!!

"Dekh bhai last bus 9 ko hai! Woh bhi I can arrange for you cabin!"

"Cabin? woh kya hota hai?" I wonder

"Arey cabin yaar! Driver ke baju mein!"

BESIDE THE DRIVER!!!

GREAT.... I am having a hell of a day!!!!

Finally NO FOOD NO SLEEP and the worst day!

I wonder what OPTIMISTS would still find good in this...

So folks... this was my just one story...trust me.

I had 3 more like this...

SCMHRD, PUNE - deja vu

IMT nagpur -  why did i attend even!!

GIM - thrown out blissfully. 

XIM, bhuvaneswar

IIT kgp

SIBM Bangalore

IIT kanpur

IIT Madras

Wellingkar 

these are in the pipeline of hell..

It should be March - the month of hell...

And yeah None of them except XIM are in Hyderabad.

So if you feel I would still love travelling, shifting to 5 cities in one month buring thoudsands and thousands of money..that too all alone..then GOD help you!

No sorry... it must be GOD HELP ME!!

Love :

What does this four lettered word really mean to you?

[Voices]
"Love is beautiful! Love is life."
"Pyar dosti hai!!"
"Humm... define love? Humm... Love..... errrrr.......humm...."
"Love is crap i tell you. This is all shit. There is nothing more to it than physical attraction!"
"Love to me is preeti! I love preeti!" "Awwwwwww!!! I love you too darling".
"I really really love rahul. He is rich. He's got an awesome car. He is got this huge bungalow. Man! I just love his money... err ...i mean i really love him!!"
"Love? How has time for all this crap?"
"Love........... humm.... yeah I remember.. i fell in love too at my college... magar. haan ab itne saaloon ke baad yeh sab.... kya yaar tum bhi kya sawaal poochte rehte ho!"
"Sorry yaar.. I am busy. Will tell you later pakka!!"

And I thought I was the only one who didn't knew the definition.
Confused Times!!
.................................................................................................

Have you ever wondered how long a minute is? Lately I just realized its reallly long!!
And the minute I am talking about is not just a minute, it's the one when you suddenly forget words. Suddenly taken over by silence. And all this with the girl before you whom you thought was everything once!
Like going to a movie alone.....
Suddenly you even start hating the food...
And finally wondering was it just me who was feeling so or was she feeling the same...
And when you think twice to ask...... I guess it's BIG TIME....

"Maybe you will get someone better. Someone more beautiful and sensible. Someone whom your parents will accept!!" These are the words my girl friend finally speaks after a looong silence.
I am sorry I don't know if I still can use the word "girlfriend" legally...
"You are caring enough maddy! No... I don't find that security .. that feeling of.. i just don't feel like that anymore! I cannot trust you!!" Another missile. I guess all the missles left untested were fired at me randomly.

Fianlly I gathered strength and spoke up..
"Look... I know I am not perfect but...."
"Perfect!!!!! I am just begging you to be a human. You are not a kid and I am certainly not your mom!!" she cried out from her lungs.
"Please for godsake. Please lets not start all over again...." I begged..
"There is nothing more to talk maddy! If have to decide. To commit or not! I dont understand why you guys are so afraid to commit!!!!"
No I didn't say anything in reply. I just couldn't dare to..........
"Anyway I never loved you seriosuly.... It's just that you always were so after me... for a moment maybe i would have got distracted. You are just a good friend and we will be friends forever." She said finally breaking the silence...
"It's not that pooja........... I just......." I really didn't know what to say... I am an asshole!!!!!!

"Just one final word maddy. If you happen a meet a girl and you feel that you are in love. Please confirm about all the things. Think twice maybe thrice before even you........"
And she walked off.... leaving me behind.......
................................................................................................

P.S :Ooops....I am really sorry.. I started off thinking of to define love and I got lost in the memories of my .... I-dont-know-what-to-call...
Maybe sometime latter i will try to define the four letter thing......
And yeah.. Its good to blog after almost an year!

Tell Me a Story

I looked eagerly into those eyes.... as if they were telling me something...
old.. tired... wanting to stop... but helplessly being dragged...
maybe a lost love.. or was it the loneliness.. the age..
he wanted peace.. he wanted to stop..
but... like he knew he had to wait.


They say, the eyes say it all. And I ventured on a small experiment of mine.
Studying people. Trying to know the strangeness of the strangers. Trying to hear the story which their eyes tell... a silent story!

This little girl really amazed me. She was happy. Happy because she had got her meal for the day. Happy because she had no mother to tell her to clean her dirty hands. No school to go. No books to read. No future to worry about. Free like the bird. But still unaware how limitless is the sky... still unaware how vast is the world and how narrow are the people in it!!
Her eyes were small.... so small that they were unaware of dreams!

On the contrary, next was a school boy! Running happily towards his home. How he waited right from the morning for this moment. Maybe he wanted to play, be himself for the evening..and not his aspiring IITian son of his parents. Smaller eyes. Forced Dreams.

just then...
it started to rain!
The rain drops fell upon me... i ran for shelter.
There my eyes fell upon a very beautiful teenager!
Aaah.. what beauty...her smile... was cute..
little rain drops trying to flirt with her..
her eyes filled with...Some sweet little dreams .. i guess!
I had to move on.. for i was afraid.. i would fell in love with her!

When I boarded the bus.. I met a young man.. probably of the same age as I.
I couldn't interpret much what laid beneath...
A search for a job.. or maybe something else..
But all I could see was.. the restlessness...
fighting with himself... the wish to overcome something..
maybe some broken dreams trying to rebuilt..
maybe!!

As I entered the building... I saw the watchman.
I wondered.. how would he feel.. standing all day.. not moving much...
watching people go in and out.. everyday..
when my eyes met his.. with a smile..
I saw them lit up....
He might not be the happiest man on earth... but still content!

"Hi!" she snapped from the back...
a familiar voice...
the same fragrance...
I knew it was her..
I looked straight into her eyes. Sparkling.
Filled with the strangeness called "life"...
happiness and sorrow ran together.
she had some kind of relief.. joy ... but still.. unsatisfied.. a slight hint of fear.. worry..
a forgotten sadness.. being reminded again..
For she well knew....
I was her ever and never...
No Love. No Hate.
Uncherished Dreams.

Finally I met my friend... my brother..
Though I knew it all..
his eyes wanted to tell it all over again....
red with regret... wet by sorrow...
tears didnt roll down... though he knew how to cry....
I wondered could anyone love someone so much...
thinking about her every moment...
trying to live with and without her...
dying every second and living every moment...
trying to relive every second spent with her.....
living only in one hope......"One day.. .. one day.. i will hold her .. once again...."

After Sorrow.. Happiness follows!
Lastly.. I saw a family..
they were three. A loving husband, a caring wife and the most beautiful daughter.
I looked at both of them..
their eyes fixed on their daughter.
I soon realized that they were not two but one!
maybe this is what they call love......



Now the final test...
I looked at the mirror...

I couldnt find anything...
just two human eyes..
not a word. not an emotion!!

The Demise...

Tip.....Tip.....Tip......
water drops from no where fell upon me...
SPLASH!
It became bigger....
It started raining.....
I wanted to run like all others and find a shelter for myself....
But I could not!
"No more....." screamed my heart....I had run for a long time now.....

. . . . . . .

I came home late that day....
I searched for him all over the place...
the night was dreadful...
the lights went off...it was pitch dark...
"Don't be afraid of the dark! You are a big boy now!" His words echoed in my ears.
Suddenly something struck me........ the prompt realization!

I saw my mother lit a candle....
her face gleamed as she held it....
her eyes were dried out.... just like the arid rivers in the summer...
not a drop of water!
her face like the barren soil of the south...
those drought hit wrinkles....
suddenly she looked so old to me.....
She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever known....
But...no more....

we had moved to a smaller place now.....
someone suggested it would help us move on...
but we all knew the fact...
we no more could afford a bigger place......
neither did we needed it!

I never ever dreamt even in my worst nightmares that things would shape up like this...
when it actually started ..when it ended.. I had no clue...
I knew nothing... I still wondered how did I even fit in here...
the reason....... was beyond me....

Murthy, my father's brother arrived and thus my uncle.... arrived....
"Don't you worry vadinaa*, I had sorted it out.... hari would work at my friend's office once he completes his exams. Four thousand a month is the pay." He tried to assure my mother..... who didn't speak a word...
I wondered if she had even heard them.....

"One more thing... I think the time has come to divide the property. I know it is too early for you.... but try to understand me... I have to daughter to marry off. I met the lawyer today....
he will brief you everything tomorrow." My uncle divulged.
"It's even better for you... it will help you pay your debts..." He added.

It might be my age which disabled me me to interpret the whole monologue...
but I still figured out that... troubles were brewing right behind our backs.....

. . . . . . .

slowly....
we started our selling business....
mother said we don't need few things anymore.
but I knew.... what we really needed!
the huge sofa set...
the heavy bullet...my father's bike... it was really no use now... unless I had to wait for four more years to officially ride it.
but what still confused me was...my mother's jewellery...
I still wondered why she considered it useless now.

. . . . . .

It was Diwali...
But we didn't celebrate...
we were not supposed to... that's what mother said....
I felt bad at the beginning but then...
when I calculated the amount of money I would save upon the crackers, sweets and the dress...
I felt relieved.

Then the new year arrived....
We were not supposed to wish anyone happy new year...
well..that's what my mother said!
For the first time time... I didn't send a new year card to my favourite cousin Sheela.
Neither did she...
I wondered if even her mother told her not to wish anyone..
was it also a not-a-happy-new-year for her also?

Time passed at a snail's pace...
The summer arrived...
I completed my schooling.
Ninety four percent... read my scorecard.

"congratulations! your son topped the whole district...."
for the first time in months I saw a slight hint of happiness in my mother's face..
still tears rolled down her face...
I somehow got used to them...

"Don't you worry vadina, I have sorted it out .... Hari would study at Hyderabad and I will also make sure he gets a scholarship including fees exemption." My uncle Murthy announced.
I wondered if I didn't needed to go to his friend's office now.

"One more thing... I heard you sold the bullet last year.. and it fetched a good price... Brother always thought of gifting me the bullet. Please don't take it wrong... as even Hari's fees is exempted I was wondering if you could give me half the money of the bullet.... I have a daughter to marry off...please understand my position...." My uncle spoke..

But my mother still maintained her calmness.
Silence is sometimes eternal... I learnt soon.

. . . . . .

It was time to leave....
my hometown....
my school....
my friends....
my childhood...
my memories....

I was glad mother was coming along...
My maternal uncle made the arrangements for us this time....
Mother would teach in a school...he affirmed.
Thank god Murthy uncle didn't sort out anything this time...
I was to join a college ... No fees and scholarship...

. . . . . .

I joined the college...
It was beautiful....
Huge buildings...
even the city was too big.....
Mother asked me to be careful......
"Make good friends. And don't you get lost anywhere!" She ordered.

I had to fill in my add mission form.....

Name: Hari
Father's name: Late sri Dharma raju
Age: 14

......

Vadina* : A Telugu word for sister-in-law

Two Sides of a Coin....

THE SIN...........

I walk through the door slowly.... but allow her to hear my footsteps....

She stands like a rock......
holding everything inside...... and giving me nothing but the silence....
I wish I could read her mind....i wish i could interpret those woeful thoughts haunting her...
I wish i could tell her....

'Don't worry everything will be fine.....'
but....

It was late...but she doesn't scream at me...as she used to ....
no sign of concern...

I still remember those beautiful days...
when we were young and newly married...
smitten by cupid...
when i used to love her by the day....and by the night....

Things change... and sometimes for the worse....

I feel the coldness even in the hot summer nights.....
It was days when we last shared a conversation...
or even when we dined together...

love.... seemed to be breathing its last breathe....
and the end seemed to begin....

I walk past to her...
her eyes...still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen...
but....the touch of her hair..... the smell of her body...
mere memories to me now....

I gather courage to break the long lasting silence....
"what is it that trouble you, my lady?"

She looks into my eyes and quickly moves them away from my sight...
she hangs her head down.... seeming smitten by the "Guilt" bug...
tears roll down her eyes...
'something bad' my heart tells me...
finally words pop out her mouth..

"I am pregnant"

................................................................................................................................


THE SINNER...............

The click strikes 11....
Still no sight of him...It's the same all the days...
This loneliness is killing me....
All day I sit idle... and wait all night...
months have passes since we last made love...

has the love died a rotten death??
or .. did it never take birth in the first place????

anyway...how do you expect love in arranged marriage!!

.................

I met him few days ago....
He is funny...handsome.... and likes me...

Am I doing anything wrong???
I know I am not supposed to act like this..but I am not able to help it..
Why do I feel like a teenager ....
why am I attracted to him so much....

NO!! I am a married woman....This is wrong!!

.................

I have never felt this way before....
it was like the first time...
same nervousness.......same excitement...
emotions running high.......and we were ready to be consumed by them...
how could i feel so different with him in the same act.......
I feel like jumping in the air and yelling at the top of my voice... to the whole world that i love him.. love him my whole life....
he is my knight in shining armor...my man of my dreams...
a part of me who completed me......the way i completed him.......
we are one and whole.....
how much i wish to be with him right now... how much...

...........................

I have done the biggest mistake of my life...
I cheated my husband....
I cheated my family...my parents..their trust...everyone..

Why was i so blind??

Why is love such a boisterous thing...
why does it pricks likes thorns...

why can't I have a happy ending..........

..........................................................................................................................................................................




PS: This blog is dedicated to my friends and all time critics...Deepi and Srats....

An Untold Story. . .

Few stories start on a lonely night, few on a battle field and few over a glass of rum. But few remain untold. . . .

I looked again from the corner of my eye, she looked the same always, beautiful.

I don't remember when it all started, maybe months now.
I made up my mind I will talk with her today, yes I will.
I went near her, she pretended as is she didn't see me coming; I tried to open my mouth but then, my legs shivered, and after a second, she was gone. . . .

"forget it dude. you are a coward" Nikki snapped from behind. She was the only friend I had.
"ok ok! there is always a tomorrow, isn't it?" I gave her a sheepish smile.
"whatever" She sighed.

"Beta wake up! You got to go t school!" My mom screamed early in the morning.

Yes. Indeed I was late to school.
She didn't come to school today!
'what happened to her? Is she ill? Oh god how is she now?' All thoughts troubled me.
"Pinky why didn't komal come today?" Pinky was her best friend and also my neighbor.
"How do I know lover boy!" Pinky laughed at me.

It was 6:20 and I was as usual late for my maths tuition.
"So early today? You should have taken your time, why did you rush?" My tuition sir was always filled with sarcasm.
"Sir, actually. . . ."
"Shut up and sit down" He yelled.

I sat down, suddenly my eyes fell on her.
'what is she doing here! Wow!' I looked at her in shock.
"Don't stare at her like this you jerk!" Nikki murmured.
"She just joined today."
"Wow! That's great." I was smiling with joy.
After the tuition was over, she walked straight towards me. I was shocked. . .

She came near and said, "Can you please you take out your cycle fast. I have to take my scooty."
I didn't say a word. Just watched her silently.
"Nikki!! Did you see that!"i screamed in joy. . .
"what she saying you to move your ass?? yeah i did see that"
"whatever. . . she talked with me!" I was all smiles.

After a boring week, I was again puffing and huffing to my tuition. My cycle broke down, so I had to walk all the way.

PEEP PEEP
I turned around and saw her smiling.
"Hi. You walking today? Where's your cycle?" She asked
"Aaaa. . ."
(I pinched myself to make sure I was not dreaming)
"Awww. . ."
"what happened?"
"Err. . . nothing, well my cycle broke down." Somehow I manged to force the words out of my mouth this time.
"Oh! Well It's already six. Don't you think you will be late again?" She questioned.
"Well yeah, I am gonna die!" I said worriedly.
"Don't you worry. I can drop you. " She said with a grin.
"Huh. . " I didn't knew what to say. This was more than a dream-come-true for me.
"Do you wanna drive?" She asked doubtfully.
"Well. . . aaa. . .actually I don't know how to drive?" I said awkwardly.
"What! Haa. ."She laughed in disbelief.
'Damn It!' I screamed to myself.

Days passed. Our friendship blossomed and so did my love for her.
Few days later. . .
My phone rang.
"Hulo. Oh Komal. . . .Hi. ." I answered the call.
She, "What are you doing? Hope you are free. . . .I was thinking if you could with to. . . ."
"Oh sure! I will be there. . . ." I happily agreed.

It was a kind of a semi-date you can say. We had also planned to go a movie.
I called Nikki, she was agony aunt.
"Nikks, she asked me out. . . ." I screamed.
"Humm. . . .so you are on. Whats on the cards? Movie. . . and?? By the way, do you have money??" She asked
"Money!! Aargh! I am out of cash yaar. What do I do?" I was worried.
"Ask your mom!" She.
"Naah! She would kill me if I told her I was going to a movie. She would stop me from going out."
"Well then steal!" Nikki replied
"What Steal! Are you crazy? And from where do I steal" I shouted.
"Well you got no other option also. Take money from your mom's purse. believe me it's ok. When you get your allowance just replace it." She suggested.
I really didn't had any other option.

After the movie and shopping we went to an Ice-cream parlor.
She smiled at me. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
"I have come up with a name for you?" SHE said proudly.
"What! Really?" I replied somewhat surprised and somewhat curiously.
"Matty! Did you like it?" She looked at me eagerly waiting for an applaud.
yeah girls love this "nick-naming" sessions. If given a chance they would name every single soul
they know.
"why not i also give you a nick-name?. . . How about Komli. . .naah. . . komi? Koms? Komolika??" I made fun of her. . .but we agreed that komal siuted her and "matty" was a lovely name. I loved the name and loved her more than me.

Six months later, the board exam was over. Everyone was so happy. We felt like the kings; like we had conquered something. We had finished schooling.

"I have a good news." My dad announced.
"We are shifting to Hyderabad!" He said happily.
"wow thats great." my mom was happy than ever.
"what!! I won't come. I am not going anywhere. I have all my friends here. How can you expect me to leave this place." I screamed, I was angry, I was shocked. The very thought of leaving all my friends bought a chill in my veins.

But I knew everything was in vain. My parents were determined as we were actually moving to our hometown but I wanted to tell them that this is my home, this is my heaven, these are my friends. I can't live without them. But they didn't listen. Who would to a 15 year old. . . .

The time came for my farewell. Komal and Nikks had come to the station.
I tell you I really hate these farewells. I hate to leave my best friends.
But. . .

We promised to remain in touch. And we did so. Phone internet letters we had done everything.
I missed her more than everything. I pinned for her. Every second I thought of her. Every other girl reminded me of her.
Four years passed by. But our friendship never drifted. Though sometimes I felt she was no more the sweet little girl I knew, but. . .

It was summer. I was going to hometown. To my friends. To Nikks, To her. . . .
I reached the city. The streets didn't change, I felt like a lost boy reuniting with her mother. Nikki came to pick me up. She was the same, my best girl, my best friend.
I called up komal and we decided to meet at out old meeting point.

I was nervous. . . .do I look good? what will she say after seeing me? I would tell her how much I love her. She would also say yes. Yes she loves me. . .

We met, we shook our hands, exchanged smiles. She looked beautiful.
And. . .

"Riiiing Riiing" Her mobile rang.

Afetr few mins. . .
"Oh sorry it was my boy friend. . . ." She said to me.

I smiled at my fate and my heart cried . . . .

That was my first love.

The baby Sitter

Are you afraid of the dark?
Do you have nightmares of some cannibal tribes running behind you, to make their dinner out of you?
Do the ghost of some girl in white sari, singing a some old song and holding a candle in her hand, haunt you?


Never Mind! these questions have nothing to do, just read on. . .

Another lazy weekend, well nowadays there is no much difference between a weekend and a weekday, they all are the same!
but our dear Mr.Fate doesn't seem to be happy with my easy life. . .

well thanks to matty's help center I have been receiving many calls for help!!

My mom's friend had to leave the town urgently and so she had to ask someone to take care of her kids and house till her husband returns from office!
and my mom out of her generosity. . .

Mom (to her friend): "why do you worry Gita, don't worry i will send my son to your place, he is anyway useless, all the day he does is eat sleep and get fat! he has not done anything since ages. Let me give him some work today! Now don't you worry and get going!"

well that was my mom!
and so i went. . .of course no one asked me if i could chose not to go. . .they just ordered!!
I was now officially the BABY SITTER!!

The kids, a 9 yr old boy and 4 yr old girl, well. . . they looked nice, very calm and well mannered.
I looked at them, and thought. . it might not be that bad after all, they are after all small cute and very good kids, what can possibly go wrong. . . .
you will later know that this was my biggest mistake!!

Their mother left soon.
I rested my ass on the couch and switched on the TV.
The little girl came near me and whispered "POGO".
then she grabbed the remote from me and switched on the channel, well as someone rightly said, girls know what they want!!

If you have any grudges against anyone just kidnap them and make them watch Pogo! believe me this was some 3rd degree torture. . .GOD!!
How the hell can you watch some colorful puppets and few stupid things i don't know what they were but well the girl kept on jumping from her feet crying. . "Teletubbies!!!!!"
After sometime i switched to the Discovery channel, it was showing some giraffes mating. The girl asked me "the boy asked me what were they doing?"
"lets watch Bob the builder" i said. Thank god the little girl didn't open her mouth. I preferred pogo for the rest of the day. . .

Oooh! well i thought atleast that makes her silent and the boy . . .
wait a min. . . i had forgotten about the boy. . .where the hell was he. . he was here a min ago. . .
In the Bedroom. . No, kitchen . . .no, reading room. . no, toilet. . . . No!! Balcony. . .No. . . . .
WTF!!!!
where has been lost??
I went out and screamed his name. . .no response. . .
god this boy. . . then i saw him in the basement. .
pheew!
"Don't you ever leave the house without telling me!!" I screamed at him. .

Finally getting back to the house, i thought maybe it was time for lunch!
I said" well lets see what we got"! wow we have the spinach curry and the radish sambhar, and oooo we have rasam also!!" I hated those dishes. . but the baby sitter rule book says always act as if you love the food and make the kids eat properly!
(btw. . .rasam and sambhar are south indian dishes, and for god sake dont ask me their recipes now)
The little girl,"ewwwww! I want potato curry" and the boy,"i want a pizza" they both said in unison.
"Huh! well do you want to be strong like me, then eat this!"
everything in vain. . .they wont eat. finally after bribing them with chocolates, they agreed and i also had to promise the pizza!

Just then. . .rahul called "Dude? where r u? Come fast we all are going to the party! And the good thing is Teja is paying the bill. . ."
me, " Err. . sorry dude. . .i have some work. . ."
"work what work, you lazy bum, get ur ass down here. . .wtf r u doing? you got no girl friends even? whats keeping you busy"rahul screamed!
"well i am scrutinizing the child prodigies. . ."
"What the hell. . . .you r baby sitting??? ooh my god!! lol...." rahul almost fell down laughing. i could sense it.
humm. . . .well it happens. . .sometimes you have to give up biryani and tandoori for sambhar and rasam!!

"Bhaiya can I order the pizza?"
oooh. . .i forgot. . .well not bad I got the pizza right?
"My chocolates??" the little girl shouted from behind. . .
got to admit these kids have a good memory. . .

I took the girl to the candy store and the boy sits in the house and calls the pizzahut. .
Girl,"i want dairymilk, no i want milkybar. . .no i want. . .no that. . ."
"I want all of them. . . ."she said her final verdict!
"what!! No way. You can only one. take one. Ok i will buy you dairy milk thats it."
"Nooooooooo i want all. . .i want all. . . .i want all. . . .mummy....i want mommy!!!!"
"Ok ok. . .fineee!!!!"

finally she stopped her crying. . . .man!!
we went back. .
then after exactly twenty eight mins the pizza boy arrives, oooh i wish he was late by two moire mins and i would have got the order free. . . .
"Sir here is your order. . .extra large chicken pizza, extra large paneer pizza, and a medium capsicum pizza along with ginger bread and french fries and of course coke!!!!" the pizza boy said.
"what!! I think you have mistaken somebody's order with mine. I didn't order these many things!" common we were just three not even three . . .i mean they were just two kids. . how much can they eat!!
"bhaiya! i ordered it!!"
"whattttttt??? why? why did you order so many pizzas?" i howled
he,"well i figured out we were three and so three pizza and i ordered a medium one for munni"
me,"whattttt? oh god!!!!!!!"
finally after shelling out 800 bucks I was left with pizzas and pizzas and more pizzas. . .
we could distribute them to the whole neighborhood and still few pieces would remain!

"I want a cake!" the little girl announced. . ."I don't want pizza. . ."
believe me these kids were so small but still they desired the whole world. . .
"Cake!! i gave the chocolates now shut ur mouth and sit down" I screamed

she cried and cried out louder. . .
i had to do soemthing. . ."ok fine i will get you the cake!"
I sent the boy to get some milk cakes from the store. . .

20 mins passed by he did not return. i waited.
40 mins. . ."what is making him so late!" i thought. now I was worried. . .
I held the girl and set out to look for him.
He was not in the basement, neither in the store, nor in the street. . .
even the watchman had not seen him. . .
Now i was tensed. . .
it was more than an hour now.

What should I do? Should I call his mom, no maybe his dad,
I am such a fool, I should have never sent him. what am i gonna do. . .

I set out with the watchman to search for the boy,
he was no where. . .
then suddenly i saw a group of boys playing cricket in the other lane,
and. . .

he was there. . .
Thankkk God!!! I thought. . .
I slapped on his face "If you do this again I am gonna kill you"
He cried she cried.
God kids are such a pain in the ass. . .
they me go crazy. . .

Finally we returned home and watched pogo and ate pizzas for dinner.
It was 9 pm and uncle arrived.

"how r u? hope the kids didn't truble you much!"he said.
"oh no. . .they were very good. In fact i had a great time" and I exchanged looks with the kids!!!

Tagged!!

Finally I have been tagged, by my dear friend zahid.
Thanx dude. . .

well here goes d tag!!

8 Facts about Matty. . .

1. Being Matty, the indolent, feckless, corpulent, wretched and the moronic, was pretty difficult on my part! But I am proud I lived to my expectations!
I guess that told a lot about me!!

2. I am a gourmet. But I can't make myself even an omelet properly!

3. I believe in the fact that, "Everything is fair in love, war and an EXAM!!" I have been successfully copying in exams and never been caught till now! And Rahul is my partner in crime.

4. I am a hypersomniac. (Hypersomnia is a disease in which the patient suffers from excessively sleeping). Given a chance i would sleep fpr 24hrs at a stretch!

5. I have this worst habit of talking to myself! And hence I encounter many strange, sheepish looks from people around me.

6. BFL(big fat liar). I lie to my parents, I lied in my job interviews, I lied to my ex and . . .a long list.

7. I even suffer from partial amnesia. Like I always forget the dates, the birthdays, and anniversaries. I am always doubtful "Did I brush today? Did I take my bath? Did I lock the door? . . . . and most importantly when I borrow money or books from my friends, it instantly gets erased from my pea-sized brain!!

8. I am a Big Movie Freak! I watch hell lot of movies, if I don't get to see them in the theater then I get the DVDs. Of course the pirated ones!!!!!

Phew!
Enough of truth and self-humiliation!!!

Now time for me to tag someone. . I tag ssnab and bizarrekid.

The Courier

DING DONG!!!!!!
I really really hate it when someone knocks at the door when i am fast asleep!
Common is 11 am a time to wake up. . . .that too in holidays!!!!!!!!!

I got up somehow and went upto the door! It was a courier guy.
Now who the hell had couriered me???

It was the Symbiosis Institute of management. I really don't know if i would get a seat into any of these B-Schools but i had applied to all of them, just in case my luck favors me!!!!!!

But really a heavy package! What the hell did he send me btw. . .

wait a min. . . . .
Oh gosh!!

I not only received my application form but also someone else's!!
Humm these courier guys. . . . they r soo careless!!!
And he was already gone.

let me see. . . .ummmm. . .
wait. . . i have the applicant's number on the form!!
The address read. . .

NEHA JAIN,
10-23/12, Malakpet,
Hyderabad.
Ph: 09985143143

Nice name!!
Common how could I not help her. . . I mean it's her application form and I am a responsible citizen. . . and a very good guy

I called her up. . .

SHE: "Hulo! Who is dis??"
ME: (mannnn. . .wahta a sweet voice. . . )
me regaining senses. . .
"Is this Neha?"
SHE: Yes I am. Who are you?
Me : well have you received your Symbiosis application? I am sure You have not, bcoz its with me!
SHE: HUh??? wat r u saying?? Who r u??
ME: I am mythreya. . .well you can call me matty!
SHE: HUH?? Well Myth.....or matty wateva.....could you be more clear. I am not at all able to understand you!!
ME: Actually the courier guy. . . .

and I told her d whole story. . . .and gave my address. . .
She thanked me and told me she would come today evening!!!!
what a sweet voice she had!!!!

I waited and waited. . . .
Hours seem to be years now. . .
suddenly the clock ticked so slowly. . .

the door bell rang again!!!!!

it must be her. . .

I opened the door!!

WOW!!!

You know a very interesting fact!!
Girls with the name NEHA are damn beautiful!!!

She was soo beautiful. . .
She wore a salwar, but still managed to look damn pretty!!!

I asked her to come in. Then told her the whole story all over again hw d courier guy had mistaken and blah blah. . .
Gave her application. . .

She asked me which colleges i was applying and everything abt me. . .
usual talk. . .

then. . .

SHE: I am really very thankful to you! You know you could also have jus neglected the courier and thrown it of. . . but you helped me. . .really really thanx. . .I don't know hw to thank you actually!!
ME: (I couldn't let go this beautiful chance and my master mind was already at work. . .)
Don't worry much NEHA. . . .well if you really wanna thank me then you can jus say it with a cup of coffee!!! Hope you drink coffee???
SHE: (she was a bit confused! she gave me what-d-hell look)
ME: common. . . Its just a cup of pure coffee. . .
SHE: Ok!! finee. . .

WOW!! I was already on a date!!!
yeah. . . a date with a beautiful girl whom i had just knew!!!
and my heart said. . . .
Life is indeed beautiful!!!!
U R TOO GOOD MATTY!!!

SUDDENLY. . . . .

DING DONG!!!!!!!

HUH? doorbell in a coffee shop???????????

I looked around. . . things looked a bit hazy. . . .
The application was lying beside me and on MY BED!!!!!!!

WTF!!!!!!!

I was dreaming!!!!!!!!!!!
aaaaarrrggghhhh!!!

woke up again. . . .
opened the door;
a man was standing . . .

he said" Hi Its NEHA. . . .

me, " WHATTTTT?? You r neha?????"

"No No! I am actually NEHA's Brother! dude could you get me d application fast! I am in a hurry."

I gave him the application and he left without even saying thank you!!!

told you. . . . .(sh)IT HAPPENS!!!
THIS IS WHAT THEY CALL LIFE!!!

Ex Troubles

Ever been in an awkward situation . . .
when u wanna run away. . . .
when u know life's gonna screw u. . .
and still u laugh that awkward smile. . .

well. . . .

i don't know if one can call it embarrassing. . .
but it was for me. . . . . . .




an awful start. . . as usual. . .

Mom woke me up saying. . .
"Beta wake up. . .You have school. . ."

"Mom for GOD sake. . . I am in college!!! And my exams r jus over yesterday!!!!"

anyway. . .she woke me up. . .

had a wedding to attend. . .
my classmate was getting married. . .

i used to love weddings! the colors, the ambiance, the freshness. . .
and . . . the girls of course!!!

weddings are a beauty contest!
though here the bride is the winner. . .
but others compete for the runner ups. . .
the make ups, the lipsticks, and. . .even saris . . .
well it's all about them and their beauty!!!

but i was in no mood to crash a girl. . .

and then. . . . . . . .



POOOJA!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE!!



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. . . .

why does she have to come to the same wedding. . .
wait a min. . .she's not my classmate's freind neither her relative. . .
wateva. . .
GOD!!

ok fine. . . . .

no need to overact. . . I am fine with her. . . .
let me just ignore her. . . .
even if she talks with me i won't give her a damn. . .

(two hours latter. . . .)

what the hell is dat wretch doing. . .
why isn't she noticing me. . .
and. . who the fuck is dat asshole beside her. . . .

I try to pass beside her for the millionth time but she pretends as if she never knew me. . .

ok. . . .
enough is enough. . .i can't stand this anymore. . .

i went before her, though nervously. . .
"Hi Pooja! How are you!"

She gave me the who-d-hell-r-u-asshole look!!!!!

then very reluctantly she said a "Hi" and turned back!

attitude!!!! why r girls so full of crap!!!

wateva. . . .

she looked very beautiful. . .
like an angel. . . .
those eyes. . .
the lips. . .
i wanted to kiss her. . .

aaah. . .

I hate break ups and I hate Ex-GFs
why can't we still be friends after a break up. . .
why we still go on a date even if we had decided we don't love each other. . .
wats wrong in drinking a coffee together!!

naah. . . .
girls!!!!
she wont understand this. . . .
she hates me. . .

another try. . . .
she was there at the dining hall. . .
glad she was alone this time!

this time i smiled like a fool and . . . .

SHE : matty! why r u doing this? you know i am not gonna talk you. . .

ME: Look poo. . . aa. . . .Pooja!! I just wanted to ask how r u?
common u can't just ignore me. . .
we have known each other for 3 yrs nw. . .

SHE : So wat do u expect??????

ME: Nothing. Just pure friendship.

SHE : wateva. . . look. . . you better be going . . . my boy friend will be here any min. . .

ME : WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???????????

(i almost dropped my plate)

SHE : what. . .huhhhh. . .

(that jerk arrived. . .)

i was shocked!!!!!

she was already dating another guy and i was . . . . .
aaaaarrrrrrraaaaaaaaggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!



after few mins. . .
i ask my friend what the hell is Pooja doing here. . .
i mean how is she related. . . .

My Friend (bride) : OOh! she is his(groom's) cousin. well there is she is with her another cousin.

Whhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

she lied to me. . .
that. . .witch. . .

i am gonna. . . .

shit man shit. . .

and i was smiling actually. . . .


pheeeeeew. . . .

the end of an eventful day!!!!



and btw. . .

all you guys and gals out there. . .
here's a piece of advice. . .

play it safe. . .and STOP AIDS. . .

Gand Mein Padgayi Danda

Finally finished with the crap exams. . . .

I hate myself for not blogging for days. . .

Screwed up all exams. . . .don't know if I will pass all. . .

CAT ne mara diya danda. . . .
this time i didn't screw any exam. . .
it screwed me hard!!

Gand Mein Padgayi Danda Yaroon. . . . .

and Mom and Dad are sure for the zillionth time that I am good for nothing. . .
and this time they r even sure that i have lost the last bit of sense in me. . . .

an MBA application form asked me why i was doing the crap MBA stuff. . . .

well . . .

it all started bcoz my ex wanted to do her MBA and she jus dragged me to those CAt classes. .
now she is gone and i am left with this wried thing. . .

even DAD WANTED!
he was shocked when i said i would do my MBA. . .
my parents were overjoyed that finally i had regained my senses. . .wateva. . .

But still. . .the girls in the college profiles look damn good. . .
maybe worth trying. . . .

and as friend once told me. .
"Do Your MBA If You Want a Beautiful Wife and a Luxury Car"

not bad. . . .

Exams over and no good movie is in the line up. . .

Saw Goal. . GOD!!
why do they make such kinda crap movies. . .
even i would have directed it better. . .

And someone PLZ tell SRK NOT TO EXPOSE AGAIN!!
HE LOOKS LIKE A GAY IN THAT DARD-E-DISCO. .

and still Om Shanti Om is a Hit. . .
Give me a break!!!

so same old story. . .

life is hell. . .
still single and dying. . .

and i gained 5 pounds this month. . .
what can get worse. . . .

but the silver lining. . . . .

Rahul forgot his 1000 bucks he lent me. . .
rahul u r great. . .thanx buddy. . .


now i jus hope he doesn't read this!!!!!

my musings

another lonely day. . .

i am here at a restaurant all alone. . .
i feel like the dining dead. . .
just existing. . .
confused what to eat. . .
what to do. . .with my damn life

suddenly a boy and a girl in the front table catch my attention. . .
she is beautiful and he is handsome. . .
and they seem to be pretty happy. . .
the smiling, the blushing. . .

is love such a lovely thing. . .
can i fall in love. . .
can i also make a girl blush. . .
will i be the world to someone. . .someday at least. . .

why am i so scared to meet someone new. . .
why am i so scared to get a life. . .
why am i so scared to take my chances. . .
i know there are fair chances that i may fall on my face. . .
that my life would be miserable all over again. . .

but it's no good now. . .

suddenly i see a girl walking upto me. . .
she looks like an angel. . .
beautiful. . .
those sparkling eyes, the rosy lips. . .
should i talk to her. . .
no..maybe yes. .
maybe there exists love at first sight. . .
maybe. . .

a boy comes out of no where and holds her. . .
and she smiles. . .

aah. . .
stupid me. . .

time to go dude. . .
and i walk out of the door still hoping for something to happen. . .
better luck next time i guess!!!

Give me a break!!!!!

I am suffering from hypersomnia....

and as usual.... my life is back to hell...

i didn't shave since two weeks..
forgot to take my bath yesterday...
but..luckily I remembered to brush my teeth today..

As I opened my door . .
the girl next door gave me the "who the hell let him out of the zoo" look..

poor girl...i did scare her...

no food in the house...damn it...
i am hungry but too lazy to change my pyjamas and get some food from the outside...
the house is soo untidy..

well this is what happens usually when my mom and dad leave me alone in the home...

no college.... some damn preparation holidays for some fucking semester exams...
but all i do is...rest my fat ass on the couch and watch the damn t.v.

and believe me even the t.v. runs some crap nowadays..
the news channels are busy with who-is-dating-whom stuff...
like i ever cared...
and as usual the ekta kapoor's damned sas-bahu serials are running their zillionth episode!!!

then i turn to my computer...
as usual...

yahoo says i have four new mails...

the first one a chain mail asking me to forward it or....i will face bad luck till the rest of my stupid life...
huh?
like i am having good luck now!!!!!!

the second one a damn add from the shadi.com asking me if i am interested!!
humm....sorry dude!!
I am just 20...can't marry...it's illegal!!!!

the third one from my friend forwarding me some so called hot wallpapers...
common...i am not a school kid to see porn stuff and hot wall papers on the net!!!!
huhhhhhh......

and finally the fourth one is from my communication systems lecturer asking me to submit my assignment or i shall be hanged by the end of the day!!!!
Ohhh god!

And rahul calls me and says.....

"you drunken bastard...
what the hell are you doing?
It's Wednesday you idiot!!!
You got the lab exam this afternoon...."

huh!!!!
what the hell......
I thought it was Tuesday....
Oh god....
Give me a break......

Random Thoughts!!!

The other day some one told me . . .

"The past is past. What you have is only your present and the future."

But. . .

Is it really the past that dies out. . .
No.
It's actually the present that readily dies and becomes a part of the past . . .

We live in the present. But what determines our present and our future?
The answer is simple. . .the past!
It is our deeds and actions in the past that determines the outcome in the present and the time to come. .

Then why do we run away from the past, why do we try to ignore it, why do we still hope of a brighter future when our body is still drenched with the sins of yesterday. . .

Well this is human nature. . .

We commit sins and then we pray for mercy. . .

But the question is. . .why do we suffer even if we are granted mercy. . .
Why do we have the consequences of the things we haven't done. . .

The GITA says a man has to suffer the consequences of the actions he has performed in his past lives in this life. . .

Isn't this insane. . .

We don't even know what we have done. . . we don't even know if we ever existed in some damn past life. . .
And people call it the karma. . .

If there existed someone called "GOD" then why are so many people dying. . .
Why are children hungry. . .
Why is there suffering. . .
All the prayers, are they really heard?

Is death the end?
If no, then whats after it. . .

Well. . .

All I can say is. . .
though we don't have perfect answers to these questions but there exists one damn thing. . .
called the "Belief"

Maybe . . .
everything is just as we thought it to be!

Maybe. . .
The present is momentary and the past eternal. . .

Maybe. . .
Someone really is out there watching our stupid lives . . .