Saturday, April 21, 2007


Oh! Please don't put away my words as mere superstitiousness and sheer pessimism, when I say I am 'Paraskavedekatriaphobic' - suffering from the fear of Friday the thirteenth. And mind you there are theories and facts which prove that this day is indeed the unluckiest day of the year. Oh! don't worry I won't go into any of the details now. This is all about how Mr.Fate blew the hell out of me and how I managed to get off with the longest day of my life. My day kicked of at four in the morning when my mom splashed literary a bucket of cold water on me when six alarms failed to do what she could do. After the early jitters I somehow managed to drag myself out of my bed to attend my CAT class in the wee hours. Well I joined the coaching for CAT only because of my girlfriend. So please don't think I am kind of a geek waking at the wee hours, screaming only one mantra "IIMs". Naaah! Thats certainly not me! To my adversity my bike was puncher ed.So there was I in the roads, and to my luck there was also a bus strike. I stood there begging for lifts sometimes and running around overcrowded autos. Early in the morning these autos still reminded me that my country was indeed over populated. Somehow I finally made it to the class but only to find out the class was completly empty. Not even a microorganism; forget about humans. None of my classmates had showed up that day for some mysterious reasons and so there was a no class. Even Pooja (my girlfriend) didn't show up.
After a hell of a start, i tried to be optimistic by saying to myself "Ok. Sometimes things happen. Don't worry. You still have the whole day". Now I wish i had not said those words. There are times I laughed at people who slipped and fell on the roads; I never knew I was going to be one among them. And finally I tripped on a banana skin and successfully did a la charlie chaplin on the road. With a bruised ankle and a sprain i moved on into the later part of my day; waiting eagerly for the miseries to come. They say crazy things happen to you when you are really screwed up. Now it started raining in a sunny April morning
and I was wet with water and thanks to the humble soul of an auto driver; I bathed in mud. Right at that moment my cellphone rang. "You psycho! How can you be so selfish. Why didn't you wake me up? I didn't make it to the class only and only because of you." Now as you might have guessed that was pooja. I really don't know how many of you do the job of an alarm clock to their girlfriends but I certainly did at times. Now if you were a self respecting man what in the world would you do. I hung up my phone. Then I suddenly realized that "oh! my god now i have real troubles." I called her for a zillion times but she wont talk. They is silence is eternity in a relationship. Had I known that I would have avoided a great deal of troubles. Somehow after hours of persuasion and pleadings finally my highness bestows mercy upon me. And she asks for a date to make up for the loss. Though I didn't even had a penny in my pocket but could I make a choice; sorry certainly not. Back home my mom bowled me over. I was supposed to accompany her to the vegetable market. And she didn't listen to anything I said. Now i had to call up pooja again and say her sorry thousand times, like repeat the whole melodrama all over again. After doing so suddenly my mom announces that we were not shopping vegetables but going for a movie with her friend and her daughter. I wanted to strictly say no but after looking at my mom's friend's daughter, no man would say 'No'. She was so beautiful that suddenly I forgot everything; my troubles, my girlfriend ( oh! believe me only for the time being). But Mr.Fate won't leave me just like that. Oh! he was determined to kill me. I don't know how in the hell such crazy things happen. I was spotted by my very own girlfriend, licking ice cream, having a blast with another girl and mind you a beautiful girl. Oh! My god. Now this was much more that troubles.Women had indeed complicated the situation.
"I should have known. You don't answer my phones. You don't want to go out with me. You don't want to see my face." these were the words pooja screamed upon my face. How much I tried to explain but she was like not even ready to listen. And then she suddenly threw the phone I gifted on her birthday saying "I don't need your damn phone when you don't even want to answer me.And neither you." Now this was the limit. I couldn't bear it anymore. Even i stood up and took the flip modeled moto razor (her phone) and broke it into two. Well actually I didn't intend to but it was there right in front of me in two pieces. There are situations in life when you wish you could be invisible like Mr.India; run from the situation; run from your troubles; and I was looking for the Mr.India gadget. But things had not ended yet. She had to had her revenge and there she was with my dear mobile this time in the mortar below the pestle. Crush and crush and crush. I could see it break into pieces and I couldn't do anything but stand and stare. My heart sank.
"Two hours later I lay on my bed when my best friend calls me. Suddenly I realized that it was his birthday and I didn't even wish him. And eventually I skipped his party. The Vodka party. Damn I never miss them but neither could I go anywhere after what happened. To add to my miseries the power went off on a sumer night keeping me awake till four in the morning. So that was the longest day of my life.