forbidden love

an angel without wings . . .
flew by my heart,
she won't kiss. . .
neither would love,
for love was forbidden,
it was a sin. . .
which i had committed. . .
and which she wanted to;

an angel without wings. . .
flew by my heart,
the world gave me pain. . .
but she made me love the pain,
she wouldn't let my heart stop. . .
she wouldn't let me die;

but this cruel world wouldn't let her. . .
wouldn't let me. . .
love my angel without wings,
for i was unaware that she wasn't made for love. . .
for no one told me god blessed her with endless pain. . .
and alas!
they won't even let me see her cry. . .
for i was the sinner . . .
and she was forbidden;

years later i saw her. . .
not a smile. . .
not a cry. . .
not even a word. . .
she lay silent. . .
six feet under. . .
in peace. . .

she was no more an angel without wings. . .
no more. . .

for you my love

jane-ja..o jan-e-man...
dilruba meri dilruba...
sun mujhe o bewafa..
na ja mujhe chod kar...
tu hi meri zingadi...
tu hi meri har khushi..tu hi mera jahan...
tu hi meraa pyaaaaar...

ooh baby ...ooh baby...
love you by the day..
love you by the night..
love you forever and ever...

meri jane-jana tu..mera dil..meri dilruba..
mujhe chod ke na jan tu...
na ja...o..na ja...
mere pass a....
mujhe aur na tadpa....
seh na sakunga mein...
na rehna sakunga mein..
tere bin na je sakunga mein...

come back to me ooooh baby...
come back to me....
you are the air i breathe..
you are the reason i live...
don't leave me babe...

tere bina na jiunga...
ter bina na marunga..
meri jane-ja....
meri jan-e-man..
tu hi meri meri zindgai..
tu hi meri khuda..
tu hi meriiiiiiii... jahan!!

i see beautiful days and i feel beautiful ways of loving you, every thing's midnight blue

Platonic SS

Well business as usual "Life is Hell." Just discovering the new reasons!

You know the bitter truth - "Man always finds his reason to cry." If suddenly one fine day your life seems to be beautiful; everything is just fine. . . then you stop and wonder -

Damn! Something is terrible and I am not even able to sense it!

Well if thats the case with an average human, then just imagine about a natural born "Skeptic" like me!

Ok! Enough of crap.

Sleeping for 12 damn hours and still suffering from insomnia. Eating too much because I am depressed and depressed because I am eating too much. Growing waistline. Not a damn penny in the pocket. No real girlfriend. My grades all are fucked up. I am just pissed off!

The worse just arrived. . . .

I don't understand girls! Let me tell you this small story of a girl. Her name is SS. She is adorable; well at least she had some sense her. The first time I met her I thought "God! Poor child! Doesn't she have food to eat?" Oh she is fine now! Guess she heard me and started eating!

Today she's like an addiction to me. I can't sleep without talking to her! I laugh to all her stupid jokes, and still don't understand why they are so funny! Everyday I try my hard to keep her hanging around with me.

We talk hours together daily . . . . in the virtual world!

Oh ya! She's my online-friend!
Though we are from the same college. We hardly talk in the real world.
Is it necessary to go and hit on a girl, if I find her interesting??
Well this is the question that has been bothering me for quite sometime.

No! I am not in love. After what happened I am a bit reluctant to fall in love. But certainly I had to move on. And maybe this is just a distraction to help me makeover. Then what is this thing?

Hummm. So I have another crush now! Great!

Rahul wrote me down a SIX step planner to date a girl!

STEP 1 : Get closer. Talk. Know the target. . .umm sorry . . . girl first.
STEP 2: Getting Still closer. Becoming her good friend.
STEP 3: Now this was interesting. . . . "Flirting". No Direct indications though. Just stay cool.
STEP 4: Going around with her. Flirting all the time. Indications. Make her feel you care for her. Show her some love man!
STEP 5: Now here's the trick. Don't show up to her for two to three days. No phone calls. Nothing. Just disappear. And then after those damn two days. . .PROPOSE HER.
STEP 6: By now she should have said yes. In case she turns you down then just apply the golden rule. . . .

"Never run behind a train, a bus . . . . .and a girl! Because if one goes another will come".

Well . . now that was really cool. . but. . . .
Can I do it???

Humm let me see. . . .Well right now i got to go as my messenger is blinking and I got her on the line. See you later folks!!

The end part2

It was Saturday. We met on a date. Well its kinda the last dates you have before your breakup. Suddenly the food tastes terrible, you have nothing to talk like you just came to shave your pocket for some crap pizza. Life is like this only. Even the beautiful girls around you don't lighten up. They are all the same. Bitches. Walking into and out of your life just in a second.
She looked beautiful though. In her usual attire. No man could remove his eyes from her. But today i couldn't eve look at her. But, then my eyes fell on her slender neck. I anted to kiss her. But couldn't.
When you want to kiss your girlfriend and you don't the its the time when you realize its the time to call it off. Every thing's going to be over soon. End of story.
All I wanted to say to her was ok fine. Go away but not that idiot. Atleast I am better than him!!!
Yup you got it right. I am talking abt vishal.
He was scoring sixes and i was out for a duck.
The Sunday's were really boring. Doing nothing. Boring Boring Boring...
Then suddenly my phone rang...
It was pooja.
"Hey. If you are free then could you make it my home. We have a small party."
I should have said no.. but...
"Hey Youngman! Its good to see you here. So. How is it going?"
Thats was Pooja's dad... and he was not talking with me...
It was that bastard. He had done every possible thing to kill me.
Well I should had expected this. Pooja's dad hated me always. Well why not. He was a rich businessman and I was just a mediocre guy with no millions in the bank nor a great family background.
I was simple. At the beginning when I asked why she loved me she used to say she liked my down to earth attitude, she like my contentedness. And now... well all I get to hear these days is I am not ambitious, I don't have high aims and how she hated my simpleton attitude.
Wow. Now what can one say!!
I hated this party. But fine I had the drinks. She would kill me if I got drunk. But who cares anyway I am dead already. We had everything, breezers for the kids, wishky for the drunken , and vodka... yup this was for me!!
Oh! gosh! what happened....
I don't remeber a thing. Wait... oh boy was I so drunk...
I woke up in a strange place. Was I dreaming?
What the hell!!! I was in Vishal's room.
"Hey dude? How are you feeling? You screwed up man!!"
"What... "
Well in life you sometimes wish if you could just run away from evrything if you could hide become invisible. This was my moment.
I was drunk and I made a mess out of the party behaving like a Sharabi... slapping people around behaving like astret dog.. yes the kinda of drunken morons you see in typical hindi movies.
This was the end of the end. And this bastard acted the hero by bringing me to his place.
He was the hero. And the loser.
Certainly this was not going to be a happy ending!!!

The begining of the end!!

I didn’t know if I was suffering from any disease or if I was really dying. My doctor said all I need was some good sleep. I couldn’t sleep. My eyes forgot to close, but my heart was still beating slowly. In insomnia you are don’t sleep and you are neither awake. My food didn’t taste good, my life was at its worst. Pooja left me ….finally….. maybe forever.
It was Thursday I guess or maybe Friday I don’t remember exactly, I woke up late, didn’t go to college as usual. I saw burnt scraps of papers and empty vodka bottles all over my room: ashes of letters and photographs which she returned eventually. It took me a minute to realize that I had been drinking. I had promised her I would never ever drink again but few promises are meant to be broken few relationships are destined to be broken. She promised me she would never leave me, but. . . .
Wait…. Roll back … Exactly Three Months ago….
Yes this was when I first met that bastard Vishal. I don’t know why when Pooja introduced him to me I hated him at the very first time. Call it envy or whatever but I couldn’t stand him for some unknown reasons. Pooja didn’t tell him we were more than friends, why? I wanted to ask her but didn’t.
Ok you can call me possessive or sensitive or whatever but I am a normal man with not a big heart. Sorry I am what I am!
A week later….
Pooja didn’t call me the whole day. She never did that. I tried to call her but her phone was off. Then suddenly a message appeared that she was out with her cousin busy shopping and her battery was dead. She asked me not to call back. Nothing else to do I called up Vijay and decided to kill my time by watching a movie if not at least sleep in the hall. Even I had to do some shopping tomorrow was Pooja’s b’day. I had to buy her a gift. Girls how specific they were about these stuffs: Gifts roses chocolates and what not.
Vijay called “dude! where are you?” “I saw Pooja with someone….”.
I replied, “Ya man. She is with her cousin” “Oh! So he is her brother?”
“What!! Ya think so. She didn’t tell me< actually her battery…..”
It was 11:58 pm. I had put an alarm to wish Pooja at midnight. Of course I had to be the one who was supposed to wish her first. Those two mins were really hell. Never knew two mins could be so looong.
I called her. It was busy. What!! Who could call her before me? Was I late? No. It was exactly 12. Man I dialed again. Same busy. What the hell I thought.
Fifteen mins past twelve I kept my calm though I tried a zillion times already. I hated it. Someone else was wishing my girlfriend before me.
I didn’t cal anymore I slept. Then my phone rang. It was her.
“Sorry Sorry plz …”
“ Ok ok happy b’day…. Who was it?”
“Oh it was Vishal. I didn’t know he remembered my b’day. “
“Good for you. Ok goodnight happy b’day once again. I am feeling sleepy. I better go. Bye.”
“Wait! That’s it…”
“Ya well… will see you tomorrow. Bye”
I hung up. I couldn’t sleep. I hated him more. And I loved her less.
The afternoon I met Pooja, we were supposed to meet for lunch. I was finally alone with her.
Then . . . .
I heard a familiar voice. I looked up. It was him, Vishal. Smiling.
“Hey guys, never thought you would be here!” “So. . . .”
“Why don’t you join us” Pooja said.
He was invading my life now. I hated him. I thought maybe the law will not hang me after listening to my story, if I killed him right away, maybe I will have to live the rest of my life in jail, maybe….. I raised my fork but…
A week passed by. Now we started fighting even on little things. We were behaving once again like teenagers. Immature, silly but still …..
By the end of the month we no longer kissed each other goodbye and goodnights. The romance was clearly out of track.
It seemed as if we were bored of each other’s company. She no longer blushed neither did I drop my jaws on looking at her.
“And they lived happily ever after…” ending seemed to be fainting in my love life.
But nevertheless her thoughts dwindled in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking of her. Pride and prejudice. Yup it became my story now.
One long dry month ended.

my angel

miss u by the day..
miss u by the night..
if there was anything between a day and a night then i will miss u even then!!!
i dont know what if it is love which runs in my viens instead of blood....
i dont know what it is which i breath instead of air...
call it love or something else...
oh what do u i know when my soul is filled up with something which cries out only one name... YOU AND YOU
these r not words oh my dasmel... these are the scraps of my heart not written in blood though but still are as divine as life could be.... i wish i could open my heart and keep it before you my love but my mortalness stops me......
oh! Beautiful lady please stop.. let the time to freeze for i cannot chose but stare upon you to your enchanting smile.. till the end of the world!!!
i lay behold in my dreams.. not single .. not alone.... but with the love of my life.... and i say to god.. take me if you want.. for i shall not grieve .. for my dreams have come true.. and i shall not grieve ...