Friday, February 16, 2007

the wake up call

Three years into my engineering now i wish how it would have been if life had a rewind button jus like my dvd player. how i wish to change everything, rewrite my fate but god won't allow that, not even to his favorite child. u don't screw up ur life in one day, trust me it takes time, like the slow poison killing u slowly. and the worst thing is sometimes u never know what u r up to.
how i felt few yrs ago that i had grown wings, i was a free bird. how happy i was that now there were no one to question me i could do anything i wanted to. how i would announce it to everyone that i was an adult now and how i looked down upon everyone who used to advice me.
Now three yrs later things haven't changed, i am still screwed up, i broke up with people, many think i am arrogant, a complete loser.
How i wish i could scream to them that i am not like that!
But the wake up call was a complete shocker. suddenly i realized that i had stretched the things too far, i had lied to my parents about everything, now it was too late.
The placements were coming and i wasn't eligible, only because i had a backlog.
i know this is not the end of my life but it could have been a better start.
I always think i won't regret anything in my life but i just couldn't. i jus couldn't don a smile at my misery. i couldn't laugh at my stupid life.

I could just wait, for the silver lining, for the things to change at least now.
And HOPE is all that i have!!